Loving the Chaos

The quieter you become, the more you can hear.

Ram Daas

When you first read that quotation, you might think, “Well duh.” Of course if you are quieter, you will hear more.

Just because we know something is true, doesn’t mean we always act on it.

Is your day filled with noise? Finding a little quiet time is a terrific daily ritual that let’s you stop, breathe and hear the voice of your own wisdom instead of the hustle bustle of the world and your inner chatterbox.

Set aside some quiet time – even 5 minutes – and listen to what you have been

missing.

Post a comment & share your ideas:

How do you create quiet time?

Most people in North America own a car. They also know that these 2 things are true:

Perform regularly scheduled maintenance and your car will run smoothly.

Wait for the engine light to go on, and you likely will find yourself with a bigger mess than you needed to have.

Everything from checking your oil to taking it in for a tune up helps you to assess how things are going with your car. Sure sometimes you need major work but more often than not, a little adjustment is all that’s required.

When was the last time you did a maintenance check on your life?

If you are like most people, it’s been a while, Perhaps never. Making the time for a life inventory is one of those jobs that can be easy to put off. There are probably 101 more pressing things on your to-do list. But just like your car, if you ignore the simple tune ups, you’ll find yourself with a life that’s not working nearly as well as it could.

Saving time, focus & energy

Many things in your life can be easily fine tuned if you pay attention to them soon enough. When life has become overwhelming, it’s more challenging to find balance. When relationships have broken down, it takes more energy to rebuild them. When finances are out of control, it’s harder to rein them back in. When you are overweight and out of shape, it takes more motivation to get off the couch. Of course you can always make the changes you want. It’s just that the earlier you catch things, the more time, focus and energy you will probably save. That’s time, focus and energy you can then put into something else.

Making the time to complete a life inventory helps you to identify what’s working and what’s not working in your life. Done regularly it can point out where simple changes can help get you back on track before you need a major overhaul. Even if it turns out that there are some serious adjustments to be made, the sooner you take stock and begin making changes, the more likely you will avoid your life stopping working all together.

Ask yourself:

Right now what area of my life is working the best?

Knowing what’s working can provide you with good information you can apply to other areas.

Then ask:

Right now what area of my life is not working the way I would like it to?

Become your own mechanic. Decide what needs to be done to get this area running more smoothly. Now take one step that will get going in the right direction.

Treat your car well and you can put a lot of miles on it. Same is true of life.

This month’s 10 in 2010 challenge is to Eat Well.

Your challenge for the month is to make at least one healthy substitution in your current diet.

I know simple substitutions may not seem like they can make much of a difference.

Remember your mantra for this year:

Simple steps taken consistently create change.

Here’s the thing – most people give up when they try to overhaul their entire way of eating. They feel deprived or overwhelmed at taking on so much change all at once. Eating well is about making changes that you can stick with – forever.

How much difference can simple substitutions make?

A lot. Making a substitution that saves 100 calories can result in a 10 pound weight loss in one year – even if you change nothing else. If weight loss is not your goal, substitutions can also be healthier choices for your body, particularly your heart.

Here are some other substitutions to try:

• substitute egg whites for whole eggs
• substitute olive or canola oil for butter or partially hydrogenated fats
• substitute nonfat or low fat dairy for full fat dairy

Post a comment  & let us know what substitution you are trying.

PS – Remember you can always find all of the previous 10 in 2010 tips located in the 10 in 2010 category on the right hand side.

Who are the real fabulous women in your life?

In honor of International Women’s Day, we’re inviting you to celebrate the real fabulous women you know and share with us what makes them special.

Here’s how:

Post a comment telling us about a real fabulous woman you know – first names only are just fine. Let us know what makes this woman special. It might be her attitude to life, her unique personality, her accomplishments, her contributions or something else.

Please keep your comment to 100 words or less.

You can post as many times as you like – but only one real fabulous woman per comment please.

On March 31^st , we’ll draw from all of the posted comments. If you are the lucky winner, both you and the woman you celebrated will win a one year subscription to the new online community RealFabulousWomen.com

Let the celebration begin!

I was recently at the Greater Edmonton Teachers’ Convention and had the opportunity to conduct an informal survey with hundreds of people.

Here are the 2 questions we asked:

Which area of your life is working the best?

Which area of your life is not working as well as you would like it to?

Using a Wheel of Life divided into the following categories, we asked people to think about their current level of life satisfaction:

Career

Relationship (partner/spouse)

Physical Environment (house, work space)

Personal Growth (including spirituality)

Finances

Health & Self Care (including fitness)

Family & Friends

Fun & Recreation

Most of the participants were teachers. I’m not sure whether these results would differ greatly or not with any other group of people if we asked the same questions.

Overwhelmingly, friends & family was the category in which people were the most satisfied. Hands down, health & self care and finances were the areas that were working the least well for people.

So here are some thoughts about these results:

Worrying about finances creates a lot of stress.

People can not make their best contribution to work or home if they ignore their health & self care.

Family & friends can provide a lot of support, encouragement, connection.

Too much energy taking care of friends & family can impact negatively on your own self care.

Of course there were a few people who said everything was wonderful and couldn’t be better. Hmmmm. I love seeing people who are getting great satisfaction out of their lives. And it’s too bad when people believe that nothing can get better. Settling for a good life when it can be great or a great life when it can be exceptional is still settling. It’s not about never being satisfied. It’s about stretching yourself into the most amazing life possible, even an unimaginably, outrageously fulfilling one.

How would you answer the survey questions?

What’s working & not working for you?

With all of the predictions that the world is coming to an end in 2012, you’d think my laptop could have given me a little heads up that its time had come.

Not until the ominous blue screen with the heading WARNING.

“Oh that’s the blue screen of death” my daughter’s computer science friend said.

That didn’t sound good.

After a quick call to my computer tech, he announced, “I think your hard drive

has crashed.” Which meant a 14 car pile up on the interstate, not a little fender bender in the parking lot.

So he took away the laptop to try to retrieve some files – it seems there are magical tricks for doing this apparently perfected by the CIA – and I am surprisingly calm.

I’m taking this as an opportunity to practice the Buddhist principle of nonattachment and accepting that nothing is permanent.

I suppose there may be some cosmic message in this unexpected turn of events today. I’ve decided to find the wisdom in a fine glass of merlot instead.

How’s your day?

Ask Laurel: Somebody told me they think I need a life coach. So what’s a life coach and why would I want one?

Life coaching is one of the fastest growing segments of the personal development industry but people are still confused about what a life coach does. A life coach is NOT your therapist, your mother or your BFF. You probably already have one or more of those already. A life coach works with you to clarify what you want to change in your life and then helps you create an action plan to make it happen. Many people want to make changes but feel stuck or uncertain about how to get started. They can’t quite see the forest for the trees. Sometimes they need new strategies, a boost of confidence or some motivation. And sometimes they need an objective partner to help keep them accountable. Individuals who want to be at the top of their game, whether they are athletes, executives or ordinary every day people, know that partnering with a coach is one of the smartest choices they can make.

Stone Circle coaching offers a variety of  individual, group and home study programs to help you live your best life.

This month’s 10 in 2010 challenge is to Eat Well.

Here’s the simple change to make:

make at least one healthy substitution in your current diet

Why would you want to eat well?

A healthy diet helps to prevent infections and reduces the risk of some diseases such as high blood pressure, Type 2 diabetes, heart disease and some cancers.

It also helps you maintain a healthy weight and allows you to participate in an active lifestyle.

Here are the sobering statistics:

Statistics Canada’s latest Community Health Survey reports that 51% of Canadians report excess weight with more than 17% of adults — or about 4.2 million people — falling in the obese category. Things are not any better south of the border in the United States.

We all know that diets don’t work. You need to be able to make changes that you can stick with long term, not just until bikini season arrives.

Here are some simple substitutions to try:

• substitute water for soda pop and/or juice
• substitute whole grain bread for white bread
• substitute mustard for mayo or butter on your sandwiches
• substitute a high fiber cereal for a high sugar one

Pick one substitution that you can stick with – and if you want – choose more than one. The key is all about consistency.

I’d love to hear what other substitutions you think would help you to eat well. Post a comment  & let us know if you are up for this month’s challenge.

Remember to keep the momentum with last month’s challenge to Unplug More.

PS  You can always find all of the previous 10 in 2010 tips in the 10 in 2010 category on the right hand side.

Ask Laurel:  Whenever I’m faced with a decision I just can’t seem to make up my mind. How do I quit waffling and decide?

It’s easy when faced with a decision to get caught up in a circular conversation of “should I” or “shouldn’t I”. The problem with waffling is that usually whatever the problem is, it gets worse, or an opportunity passes you by.

Certainly you want to take your time with big choices. Consider all the options. Stretch yourself beyond the most obvious 2 solutions and think about other creative ones. Weigh the pros and cons and make a choice.

Remember most of the decisions you make are not life-altering. Think of them as a chance to test a theory or try something new or create a learning experience. The more confident you become with decision making on the small stuff, the easier it will be when you are faced with a huge choice.

Leave a comment:

What are your best decision-making tips?

And be sure to ask Laurel your own “how to” life motivation or strategy question.

The great thing about a bucket list is that it helps you actually experience some of life’s coolest adventures. Attending Carnevale in Venice (think Mardi Gras with an Italian twist) has been on my bucket list for a long time. With a rich historic tradition and an abundance of pageants, masquerade balls, parades and concerts, I knew Carnevale would be a sensory delight.  

During a recent trip to Italy, indeed Carnevale did not disappoint – a cavalcade of colour, music and people. And of course dressing in Renaissance garb, wandering the streets admiring other costumes and attending events brought some life lessons into clearer focus.

Everybody wears a mask.

It’s not just during a festival like Carnevale or Halloween or Mardi Gras that people wear masks. Every day we conceal parts of ourselves depending upon the circumstances and company. Some people are more transparent about who they are. Others are afraid to let their real selves out into the light for fear of rejection. They think others might not like them or that somehow their authentic self is not quite enough. Think about the mask you wear each day. How willing are you to speak your truth?

You can only wear a mask for so long.

No matter how well designed, every mask gets a little uncomfortable after a while. It itches or rubs a bit, or your vision might be hampered. You get to the point where it’s just time to take it off. That’s true for the mask that you wear day in and out. After a while it gets a little uncomfortable concealing your real self. You get itchy to show up more fully, even in spite of the cost. Wait too long and you might find that unmasking is accompanied by a poor choice of words, or a burst of anger. Pay attention to that uncomfortable feeling. It’s a good sign that it’s time to reveal yourself.

A bucket list helps you make a goal become a reality.

I’ve been to Italy several times so why had it taken so long to get to Carnevale? The weather in Italy in February is not the most charming and that became a great excuse. Having Carnevale on my bucket list eventually forced me to face that excuse head on. Carnevale IS in February so if it was actually something I wanted to experience in this life, I would just have to get over the potential weather. Carnevale was amazing; the weather was not!

Creating a life list of goals is a sound strategy to help you make those goals a reality. Once you’ve added something to the list, the conversation can become more about “how can I make this happen?” rather than about the inevitable excuses for why it might be a challenge. And, of course, watching for the perfect opportunity to present itself. In this case, my daughter has been completing a semester in Italy so it seemed like just the right time to check off a bucket list item.