Loving the Chaos

This month’s 10 in 2010 challenge is to Unplug More.

Your challenge for the month is to turn off your cell phone & TV during meals.

For some of you this one is not too hard. It’s actually a refreshing change.

For others unplugging even for half an hour is a stretch.

One of the big obstacles to having enough time to do what is important to you is not setting boundaries. That and the internal conversation you have with yourself about why you can or can’t do something.

What’s the underlying belief you are holding that encourages you to leave your cell phone or the TV on during meals?

Maybe it’s something like…

I need to be in constant touch with the office, my kids, stock market updates or ?

My multi-tasking doesn’t impact on the people around me.

I have to be busy all the time.

Unless there is a real emergency going on – like you are waiting for the birth of a child, or a call from the transplant team, you can indeed create a boundary that protects mealtimes.

During meals you have a chance to have an undistracted conversation with other people. You can pay attention to what you are eating and when you feel full. You can take time to refuel your body and relax.

Take a look at the excuses you are making for not being able to meet this month’s challenge.

If you have been easing into this challenge, raise the bar a bit. Add more mealtimes that are unplugged.

Post a comment & let us know how unplugged is, or isn’t working for you.

PS    Remember you can always find all of the previous 10 in 2010 tips located in the 10 in 2010 category on the right hand side.

Never mistake motion for action.

Ernest Hemmingway

Are you constantly in motion?

Perpetually busy?

Just because you don’t have a spare minute doesn’t mean that you are engaged in purposeful activity. If you find yourself with a lack of energy or enthusiasm, take inventory of how you are spending your time.

Chances are there are lots of tasks that keep you busy but don’t help move you closer to your goals. Giving up some of your busy work makes more time and energy for activities that are fun, meaningful and satisfying.

Leave a comment:

What keeps you way too busy?

I have the great good fortune to have many people in my life who provide me with a sometimes needed cosmic kick in the butt. The latest little jolt came from

my friend and colleague Tony Barton who has finally ventured into the world of video blogging after procrastinating about it for some time. In his last newsletter he posed this question:

What if, like me, you stopped making up excuses and just got on with it?

That’s a simultaneously annoying and empowering question, isn’t it?

When someone asks that question, you usually feel the need to justify your inaction. Your first response is likely a flood of “yes, but” answers. Something along the lines of….

They’re not excuses, they’re reasons.

I do want to do this but I don’t have the time, or money, or energy, or fill in the blank.

I am going to do this as soon as I have enough information, or motivation, or skills, or fill in the blank.

But when it gets right down to it, if you really want to do something you have to let go of all of the excuses that have been holding you back. You need to shift from an “I can’t because” attitude to a “How can I?” one.

The empowering part of this question is all about the “What if?” part.

Imagine if you actually just got on with it.

What would become possible?

How would things change?

What new opportunities would open up?

Ever since Tony’s newsletter arrived I’ve been pondering  the things I need to just get on with. Definitely think there are a few excuses that could get kicked out.

What are you making excuses about?

Congrats to Jeannette Cholach of Thorhild AB who is the January 10 in 2010 draw winner.

We’ll be sending Jeannette a journal to help her keep track of her 10 in 2010 journey.

Subscribe to the free 10 in 2010 challenge and your name will be entered into our monthly draw.

Remember….

Small steps taken consistently create change.

This month’s 10 in 2010 challenge is to Unplug More.

Here’s the simple change to make:

turn off your cell phone & TV during meals

If this month’s challenge is causing you to hyperventilate a bit, keep reading and I’ll give you an alternative later on.

Why would you want to unplug more?

You’ll be more present to mealtimes & eating.

You’ll have a greater opportunity for conversation & connection.

You’ll give yourself a break from constant demands & interruptions.

Here are the rather sad statistics:

The average person watches 4 hours & 49 minutes of television per day.

The average person spends 6 hours & 9 minutes on social networking sites like facebook and twitter per month.

And in our multi-tasking world some people they spend some part of their day watching TV and on the internet simultaneously.

According to a United Nations report, the number of cell phone subscriptions throughout the world has quadrupled, from 1 billion in 2002 to 4.1 billion by December 2008. No wonder everyone is constantly on the phone.

This month’s challenge is really about creating a boundary that can actually help you achieve other goals. More about that next week.

And…

if unplugging at mealtimes seems to big a stretch, then ease into it and unplug for one meal a day. You can expand to include the other meals as the month progresses.

Go ahead & take the challenge – you might be pleasantly surprised at what you discover.

Post a comment & let us know if you are up for the challenge.

 PS  Remember you can always find all of the previous 10 in 2010 tips located in the 10 in 2010 category on the right hand side.

Before you read any further, watch this one minute video (and thanks

to Jaime Kessel for passing this treat along to me).

TAKE THIS AWARENESS TEST

Now I know that you will take a minute to watch the video again. I did! I also know that you’re probably thinking, ‘How did I miss that?”

It is so easy to miss the thing you are not looking for. In other words when you are too focused on one thing, you likely won’t see something else that happens by.

I’m all for uni-tasking rather than multi-tasking. I’m a big believer in being present to the moment. But if you are so focused on the task at hand to the exclusion of everything else, you just might miss some really cool stuff.

So what’s the lesson here?

Yes focus on one thing at a time.

Yes practice mindfulness.

AND raise your gaze periodically and see what else is there.

Regularly ask yourself: What might I be missing?

Shift your focus for a moment and look at the other side. If you routinely think about what’s not working in your life, ask what is working? If you usually think about what’s working, stop every once and a while and ask what isn’t working.

You just might find a moon-walking bear.

I know some of you have specific goals for 2010 that may or may not line up with the simple changes we’re going to implement through 10 in 2010.

No worries!

You can use the same “small steps taken consistently create change” philosophy with your personal goals too.

Here’s how:

Think about your goal.

Write it in one sentence.

Then make a list of some simple changes that you could make that will contribute to that goal.

Remember you don’t have to take it all on at once to ultimately be successful.

Pick one of those simple changes and make a commitment to it. When that change has become a consistent habit, go back to you list and add in something else.

If you need some ideas about simple changes you could implement for your personal goal, just ask!

Monthly draw!

And there are so many people joining the challenge I’ve decided to run a monthly draw. If you have subscribed for the 10 in 2010 Challenge, you name will automatically be entered into the draw. January’s winner will be announced next week.

Leave a comment and share:

What do you hope to change in 2010?

Since we only have one crack at this life, it seems strange that so many people are willing to settle for a mediocre existence. Are you one of those people? With an overabundance of commitments and no real clarity about what matters most, it’s easy to slip into a habit of just doing what needs to get done next on the to-do list. Time flies by and you become content with okay, average, or so-so. It’s true that you get the life you settle for. Why not settle for something more? Not perfection, but excellence.

Your personal best is about reaching for your own level of excellence. It requires knowing the difference between those tasks that are important and those which can get less of your attention. It’s about giving the best effort you have on any given day, knowing that some days you have more time and energy than on others. Your personal best reflects a clear set of values and priorities. It’s a commitment that honors quality instead of quantity.

Here are some ways to do your personal best:

Align your actions and values.

When you are clear about what truly matters to you, you are better able to consciously choose actions that reflect those values. Think about the past week. Did you spend most of your time on the things that matter most? If not, make a list of the most important things in your life. Then write down the actions that reflect those values. Schedule those activities first before other less important things.

Choose fewer things to excel at.

You can’t do everything all the time. When you try to spread yourself too thin, you are more tempted to say, “That will do.” especially on things that really matter. Pay attention to those things that tend to use up your time and decide whether they reflect what’s most important. Decide where you want to be average and where you want to be excellent. Excellent or average… parent? housekeeper? health?

Raise the bar for yourself.

Cartoonist Charles Schultz once said that life is like a ten speed bike. Most of us have gears we never use. On things that are really important, do you settle for less than your best effort? Do you find yourself complaining that it’s too hard? If something is a core value for you, its time to suck it up and require more of yourself. Choose one thing and stop letting yourself off the hook with it.

Focus your attention on the task at hand.

Multitasking is a fast track to mediocrity. Do one thing at a time and do it well. When you focus your energy and attention, you will likely do things more efficiently and effectively.

Create boundaries.

If you want to be able to focus your attention and effort on the things that are most important to you, you have to begin to create some boundaries. Learn to say no more often. Say no to requests that will take you away from your primary focus. Ask yourself whether what you are doing is the most effective use of your time? If no, raise the bar for yourself!

Before you decide where you want to go, it’s usually a good idea to figure out where you are.

Here’s a little quiz.

Answer yes or no to the following questions:

1.   Are you well rested?
2.   Do you get adequate exercise?
3.   Do you practice random acts of kindness?
4.   Do you live within your financial means?
5.   Are you living clutter free?
6.   Do you limit your electronic devices?
7.   Are you an optimist?
8.   Do you manage stress well?
9.   Do you eat a moderate and balanced diet?
10.   Do you take time for personal reflection?

How did you do?

If you answered no to any – or all – of the questions, the 10 in 2010 challenge just might help you begin to create some simple habits that will move you closer to a less stressed, more healthy and happy life.

Starting next week, we’ll focus on some simple changes related to the quiz items. Remember small steps taken consistently create change.

Here’s how you can get started:

I encourage you to keep a notebook or journal about your 10 in 2010 journey. Start by writing down your answers to the quiz and any thoughts that pop up related to it. You’ll want to review this when we get to the end of the year to see what’s changed for you.

Let’s get a conversation started. Post a comment and share your thoughts about the quiz.

PS

Remember you can always find all of the previous 10 in 2010 tips  located in the 10 in 2010 category on the right hand side.

I just returned from a few days in Arizona hiking with some friends. The desert sure is a place that holds a lot of wisdom. Here’s some of the life lessons that I was reminded of as we explored the mountains and canyons near Tucson.

Figure out what works.

With an extreme climate and a shortage of water, everything in the desert has to adapt to the environment. Whether its a shallow root system or a clever way to collect water plants in particular learn what works. That’s true for you in life as well. Learn what works for you and let go of the things that don’t. Life becomes seriously out of balance when we try to go at a pace that is too quick, take on more commitments then we can manage, or forget to re-charge, refuel and restore ourselves.

Find a support system.

Part of the reason why things can survive in the desert is that plants and animals depend on each other: palo verde trees act a nurse plants for the saguaro cactus who then provide shelter for birds like kestrels and flickers. Figuring out that we are all part of an interdependent web of connections is important for humans too. It’s also true that you need a group of people who act as your support system. They are the people who cheer you on, brainstorm ideas and give you a kick in the butt when its needed. Find a mutually supportive network and watch how life takes off.

Be mindful of personal space.

There’s a fascinating plant in the desert called the Jumping Cholla. Get a little too close and it will release its prickly spines on you. Keep a respectful distance and you are just fine. We all have our own personal space that, when invaded by others, tends to make us a little prickly. Know where your personal boundaries are and be willing to communicate them to others before you feel crowded. And at the same time be mindful that others have boundaries that might be different from yours.

Take time to look closely.

With a cursory glance its easy to think that the desert is a barren place. Not true! There is a huge biodiversity – you just have to look closely sometimes to see all of the life that is thriving there. In our busy lives its easy to miss what is right in front of you. If you fly through your day from one task to the next without stopping to be present to the moment, you quite likely will miss the hidden beauty and treasures of the day. The big picture great – just remember to also take the time to observe the details.

Try something different.

I’m definitely an ocean girl but exploring the desert landscape was an absolute delight. It’s easy to get stuck in the same old way of doing things. Having a fresh perspective gives you new ideas, new inspiration, new energy. I’ll definitely go back to the desert for some more lessons.