Loving the Chaos

Before you read any further, watch this one minute video (and thanks

to Jaime Kessel for passing this treat along to me).

TAKE THIS AWARENESS TEST

Now I know that you will take a minute to watch the video again. I did! I also know that you’re probably thinking, ‘How did I miss that?”

It is so easy to miss the thing you are not looking for. In other words when you are too focused on one thing, you likely won’t see something else that happens by.

I’m all for uni-tasking rather than multi-tasking. I’m a big believer in being present to the moment. But if you are so focused on the task at hand to the exclusion of everything else, you just might miss some really cool stuff.

So what’s the lesson here?

Yes focus on one thing at a time.

Yes practice mindfulness.

AND raise your gaze periodically and see what else is there.

Regularly ask yourself: What might I be missing?

Shift your focus for a moment and look at the other side. If you routinely think about what’s not working in your life, ask what is working? If you usually think about what’s working, stop every once and a while and ask what isn’t working.

You just might find a moon-walking bear.

I know some of you have specific goals for 2010 that may or may not line up with the simple changes we’re going to implement through 10 in 2010.

No worries!

You can use the same “small steps taken consistently create change” philosophy with your personal goals too.

Here’s how:

Think about your goal.

Write it in one sentence.

Then make a list of some simple changes that you could make that will contribute to that goal.

Remember you don’t have to take it all on at once to ultimately be successful.

Pick one of those simple changes and make a commitment to it. When that change has become a consistent habit, go back to you list and add in something else.

If you need some ideas about simple changes you could implement for your personal goal, just ask!

Monthly draw!

And there are so many people joining the challenge I’ve decided to run a monthly draw. If you have subscribed for the 10 in 2010 Challenge, you name will automatically be entered into the draw. January’s winner will be announced next week.

Leave a comment and share:

What do you hope to change in 2010?

Since we only have one crack at this life, it seems strange that so many people are willing to settle for a mediocre existence. Are you one of those people? With an overabundance of commitments and no real clarity about what matters most, it’s easy to slip into a habit of just doing what needs to get done next on the to-do list. Time flies by and you become content with okay, average, or so-so. It’s true that you get the life you settle for. Why not settle for something more? Not perfection, but excellence.

Your personal best is about reaching for your own level of excellence. It requires knowing the difference between those tasks that are important and those which can get less of your attention. It’s about giving the best effort you have on any given day, knowing that some days you have more time and energy than on others. Your personal best reflects a clear set of values and priorities. It’s a commitment that honors quality instead of quantity.

Here are some ways to do your personal best:

Align your actions and values.

When you are clear about what truly matters to you, you are better able to consciously choose actions that reflect those values. Think about the past week. Did you spend most of your time on the things that matter most? If not, make a list of the most important things in your life. Then write down the actions that reflect those values. Schedule those activities first before other less important things.

Choose fewer things to excel at.

You can’t do everything all the time. When you try to spread yourself too thin, you are more tempted to say, “That will do.” especially on things that really matter. Pay attention to those things that tend to use up your time and decide whether they reflect what’s most important. Decide where you want to be average and where you want to be excellent. Excellent or average… parent? housekeeper? health?

Raise the bar for yourself.

Cartoonist Charles Schultz once said that life is like a ten speed bike. Most of us have gears we never use. On things that are really important, do you settle for less than your best effort? Do you find yourself complaining that it’s too hard? If something is a core value for you, its time to suck it up and require more of yourself. Choose one thing and stop letting yourself off the hook with it.

Focus your attention on the task at hand.

Multitasking is a fast track to mediocrity. Do one thing at a time and do it well. When you focus your energy and attention, you will likely do things more efficiently and effectively.

Create boundaries.

If you want to be able to focus your attention and effort on the things that are most important to you, you have to begin to create some boundaries. Learn to say no more often. Say no to requests that will take you away from your primary focus. Ask yourself whether what you are doing is the most effective use of your time? If no, raise the bar for yourself!

Before you decide where you want to go, it’s usually a good idea to figure out where you are.

Here’s a little quiz.

Answer yes or no to the following questions:

1.   Are you well rested?
2.   Do you get adequate exercise?
3.   Do you practice random acts of kindness?
4.   Do you live within your financial means?
5.   Are you living clutter free?
6.   Do you limit your electronic devices?
7.   Are you an optimist?
8.   Do you manage stress well?
9.   Do you eat a moderate and balanced diet?
10.   Do you take time for personal reflection?

How did you do?

If you answered no to any – or all – of the questions, the 10 in 2010 challenge just might help you begin to create some simple habits that will move you closer to a less stressed, more healthy and happy life.

Starting next week, we’ll focus on some simple changes related to the quiz items. Remember small steps taken consistently create change.

Here’s how you can get started:

I encourage you to keep a notebook or journal about your 10 in 2010 journey. Start by writing down your answers to the quiz and any thoughts that pop up related to it. You’ll want to review this when we get to the end of the year to see what’s changed for you.

Let’s get a conversation started. Post a comment and share your thoughts about the quiz.

PS

Remember you can always find all of the previous 10 in 2010 tips  located in the 10 in 2010 category on the right hand side.

I just returned from a few days in Arizona hiking with some friends. The desert sure is a place that holds a lot of wisdom. Here’s some of the life lessons that I was reminded of as we explored the mountains and canyons near Tucson.

Figure out what works.

With an extreme climate and a shortage of water, everything in the desert has to adapt to the environment. Whether its a shallow root system or a clever way to collect water plants in particular learn what works. That’s true for you in life as well. Learn what works for you and let go of the things that don’t. Life becomes seriously out of balance when we try to go at a pace that is too quick, take on more commitments then we can manage, or forget to re-charge, refuel and restore ourselves.

Find a support system.

Part of the reason why things can survive in the desert is that plants and animals depend on each other: palo verde trees act a nurse plants for the saguaro cactus who then provide shelter for birds like kestrels and flickers. Figuring out that we are all part of an interdependent web of connections is important for humans too. It’s also true that you need a group of people who act as your support system. They are the people who cheer you on, brainstorm ideas and give you a kick in the butt when its needed. Find a mutually supportive network and watch how life takes off.

Be mindful of personal space.

There’s a fascinating plant in the desert called the Jumping Cholla. Get a little too close and it will release its prickly spines on you. Keep a respectful distance and you are just fine. We all have our own personal space that, when invaded by others, tends to make us a little prickly. Know where your personal boundaries are and be willing to communicate them to others before you feel crowded. And at the same time be mindful that others have boundaries that might be different from yours.

Take time to look closely.

With a cursory glance its easy to think that the desert is a barren place. Not true! There is a huge biodiversity – you just have to look closely sometimes to see all of the life that is thriving there. In our busy lives its easy to miss what is right in front of you. If you fly through your day from one task to the next without stopping to be present to the moment, you quite likely will miss the hidden beauty and treasures of the day. The big picture great – just remember to also take the time to observe the details.

Try something different.

I’m definitely an ocean girl but exploring the desert landscape was an absolute delight. It’s easy to get stuck in the same old way of doing things. Having a fresh perspective gives you new ideas, new inspiration, new energy. I’ll definitely go back to the desert for some more lessons.

I woke up this morning to gremlins in the computer and counted my blessings that I have a great resource in Catherine Vu  and her wonderful tech team.

Sometimes I find computers to be the most curious of inventions. The vast majority of us rely on computers but don’t really have a clue about how they actually work.

Kind of like life. 

Most of the time we go along our merry way and then we hit a glitch. We’re not quite sure how or why it happened. Wouldn’t it be great if life had a little pop-up box like the computer that said:

Do you really want to do this?

On the computer I’m never quite sure but my techies tell me that most of the time the answer is yes.

What would it be like to have a little pop-up in life that helped you be more conscious about your decisions? Sure just like the computer the answer would likely be yes. But every so often stopping and asking that question might just save us from making an unconscious choice.

Just curious…

What would you like your pop-up box to say?

Create change with small steps

Setting goals can be a counterproductive activity.

Or not.

It really depends on you go about doing it.

Here’s a common scenario:

You have some things that you would like to change. They might be things that you have been thinking about for a while. You might have even given them a go before but you never really achieved the results you wanted.

In your enthusiasm to be a goal-getter, there’s a tendency to take on the mega-goal:

• losing a big bunch of weight
• running a marathon
• re-organizing your whole house
• becoming debt free

Maybe you start believing the popular media that tells you that it is possible to lose 30 pounds in 30 days without exercise.

Or some other unrealistic claim.

The truth is the idea of overhauling an area of our lives can be downright overwhelming. The initial enthusiasm wears off. And so for many people, creating a mega-goal sets them up for failure. It feels like too much effort, too much commitment, too much change.

Couple that with a lack of planning and support and it doesn’t take long before life gets in the way and your goal is shuffled way down your to-do list.

Here’s another scenario:

There are some things that you would like to change. You pick one small thing to focus on at a time so that you can be consistent. You start to experience some success and you build a little momentum. As you maintain your small change, you begin to add in other micro-goals and before long you have created a new set of habits. From there anything becomes possible. With a little time, motivation and consistency, you might even achieve the mega-goal.

Sure some people can set mega-goals and make them happen. But for most people, they get sidetracked long before they do.

That’s what the 10 in 2010 Challenge is all about – keeping your focus on small changes and being consistent.

During the coming year we’ll focus on one change per month. We’ll cover some of the most important areas like finances, organization, exercise, nutrition, sleep and more. It’s up to you which ones you want to implement.

You CAN make this the year you create some positive habits.

Are you ready to take the 10 in 2010 challenge?

If yes, post your reasons for joining us. I’m looking forward to hearing your successes and challenges.

For Immediate Release – January 2010

EDMONTON, AB – The success rate for New Year’s resolutions is so abysmal that most people either abandon them by Valentine’s Day or choose not to set any goals at all. Then at the end of each year, people are often discouraged by the things they didn’t accomplish. But rather than giving up on your goals for the New Year, Laurel Vespi, certified life coach, says people just need a different approach to achieving them.

“Failure doesn’t have to be an option when it comes to making changes in your life. Instead of taking on mega-goals, which can be overwhelming, creating micro-goals lets people establish new habits with greater ease. Change isn’t always easy but it is simple,” says Vespi. “When you focus on small steps consistently, you have a much greater likelihood of success. That in turn builds confidence and momentum.”

To help people experience success this year, Vespi is hosting the 10 in 2010 Challenge. This program will take participants through 10 simple changes throughout the year. There is no cost to participate, only the desire to make some improvements in your life.

“With a little focus and encouragement, most people can create simple changes that stick,” says Vespi. “Once they have some strategies and see that it is possible to build new habits, people then have the foundation for making other changes.”

Known for her bold, funky and creative style, Vespi partners with people who are really ready to re-ignite and energize their lives or businesses, people who desire change, but are stuck in getting started, or people who start to change, but end up reverting back to the way they were before.

There is no fee to participate in the 10 in 2010 Challenge. Sign up for 10 in 2010 Challenge

-30-

For More Information or an Interview,
Please Contact:
Laurel Vespi
laurel@stonecirclecoaching.com (780) 460-8162
www.stonecirclecoaching.com

January is often a time when people reflect on the past year’s accomplishments and look ahead to what’s possible in the new year. People think about the bad habits they have and all the things they really should stop doing. You’ll hear them talking about giving up smoking or being a couch potato or not spending so much money or being disorganized. Depending on your personal goals, giving up any or all of these things could be a great use of your time, energy and focus.

While there are lots of things that you might choose to give up this year, there’s one thing you can let go of that will most definitely create positive changes in your life. It actually would impact on any of the goals that you set for yourself this year.

So what’s the one thing to give up this year?

Mediocrity.

We currently live in a culture that embraces mediocrity. That’s probably because many people are overcommitted, overscheduled and overwhelmed. When that happens, the idea of doing things that are “good enough” is awfully appealing. You slip into a pattern of settling for an “okay” existence because it feels like the path of least resistance. The problem with that approach is you end up cheating yourself out of the best life available to you.

Think about personal best

Instead of choosing mediocrity this year, think instead of your personal best. That’s something completely different from focusing on perfection which is a highly over-rated and unattainable goal. Striving for perfection often leaves you exhausted and unsatisfied. Imagine your daily personal best in fitness or nutrition or relationships or self care. If you set that as the standard for guiding your choices each day, now imagine what changes you would create by the end of the year.

Giving up mediocrity is more about giving your best effort on any given day. What does that mean? You make a conscious effort to give your focus and attention to the task at hand. You recognize that on some days you have more – or less – energy to give to a task. It also means that you stop overloading your plate with so many commitments you can’t possibly do any of them well. By focusing on your personal best you stop settling for so-so and will likely experience a greater degree of satisfaction.

When you think about what you want to give up this year, stop giving up on what’s possible and think seriously about giving up mediocrity.