If I had a nickel for every person who set out to achieve a goal and abandoned it along the way I’d be a very wealth woman. Getting started or sticking with a plan for change is often a challenge. The Ultimate Guide to Motivation is jam packed with great ideas about how to achieve your goal.

Setting yourself up for failure

Typically people jump into an action plan without having spent enough time thinking about “why am I doing this?” Because “I should” or someone else thinks “you should” are rarely good enough reasons to propel you toward your goal. Or doing it for some vague reason like “better health” or “my family” often won’t sustain you through the inevitable tough patches you will encounter. And superficial reasons like “looking super hot at my high school reunion” might get you so far but they likely won’t help you maintain your goal once the reunion has come and gone.

Find a meaningful motive

One key to success is to find a meaningful motive - one that resonates with you at a heart level.  You have to have a reason for doing something and when it comes to change, especially big change, you want that reason to be closely linked to the things that are most important to you. Doing that will help you get through any roadblocks with greater ease.

Listening to your heart

Sometimes it takes a little work to plug into your meaningful motive. You have to look past the first couple of superficial layers to get to what really matters.  What does your heart want? Do you want to get in shape to be able to participate fully in your children’s lives?  Do you want to get your life back in balance to have more and richer time with your partner?  Do you want to de-clutter your house so you have a sacred space to honor yourself?

Taking time for personal reflection helps to connect to your meaningful motive. You’ll know you are getting close when you get a little lump in your throat or are a bit teary eyed. That’s a good sign that you’ve plugged into your heart. Motivation from this place is powerful.

Re-connect daily

Create a vivid picture in your mind or design a vision board so you can see clearly why this change is meaningful - why you are willing to stick with it until you’re successful.

Then as you implement your action plan, revisit that motive daily. In the midst of things, it’s easy to lose sight of why you are doing something. Plugging back in each day helps you keep both your goal and your motive top of mind.

You can have your heart’s desire. Just let your heart help guide the way.

What’s your meaningful motive for change?

Tales from my Italian adventure

Paolo Fanciulli is not a guy who lets a few obstacles get in his way. A fisherman who lives in Talamone next to the Parco Naturale della Maremma in Tuscany, Paolo is a shining example of the impact one person can have. We got to spend the day with him learning about his passion for the sea.

Thinking outside the net

For the past twenty years Paolo had been attempting to bring government and public awareness to the devastating damage that trawl fishing nets do to the sea bed. Although illegal, fishing using these nets has gone on unhindered for years causing the destruction of the naturally growing sea grass which provides a habit for fish, oxygenates the water and prevents coastal erosion. Years of trawl nets has left the fish population depleted and the sea floor devastated.

After repeatedly running into opposition, roadblocks and indifference, Paolo got the idea to create “pescaturismo” - which gives travellers an eco-conscious opportunity to experience the natural environment while gaining an appreciation for environmental needs of the area. Paolo figured if people could have a first hand experience they would rally behind the cause of sustainable fishing.

Building blocks of success

Deciding that the government’s minor fines for trawl fishing would never dissuade large companies from continuing to destroy the sea floor, Paolo came up with another plan: to put what he calls case per i pesci or “fish houses” along the sea floor to prevent the use of trawl nets. These large hollow concrete blocks imbedded with hooks essentially tear through the nets while providing the fish with a safe haven for breeding.

Last year through Paolo’s awareness campaign and fundraising efforts, 250 of these fish house were placed along the coastline of the Parco Naturale Maremma. One year later he says they are already seeing the positive impact. Trawlers no longer fish this section of the coastline and the sea floor and marine population is improving. What I especially loved about Paolo was, when asked whether we could make a donation to the cause he declined. “The fish houses are now in place,” he said. “What I need you to do now is tell people about the problem and what’s possible.”

There’s always a way

If you find yourself facing one obstacle after another in reaching your dream, Paolo’s advice would be to find a blend of optimism, activism and pragmatism. You may have to consider plan B or even C to get the job done. What Paolo has demonstrated is when you have a vision and are committed to making to a reality, where there’s a will, there’s a way.

Well it’s finally happened.

Life coaching has made it into the mainstream. How do I know? I was in my local bookstore today and came across Life Coaching for Dummies.

Now I’ve never really been a big fan of that series of books. Not that they don’t have some great basic information on a wide variety of topics. It’s just the name that turns me off.

What I know for certain is that life coaching is not for dummies. Far from it. Life coaching is for people who have made a decision that they want something to change in their lives and they’re willing to put in the effort to make it happen. They’ve figured out that life is one very short ride and they want to make the most of it.

My clients are often in search of one or more of these things:

• They are looking for ways to balance work and family without going insane.
• No matter what age they are, they’re not sure what they want to be when they grow up.
• They want to make a difference in the world and feel like their lives count for something.
• Lots of times they just want to learn how to say no.
• They’re feeling stuck and they want to get unstuck and moving forward.
• They are certainly tired of making the same old excuses.

Nothing dumb about any of those desires.

Life Coaching for Dummies suggests that you can become your own life coach. Not a bad idea…and during the past several years as a life coach who’s helped hundreds of people create change here’s what I’ve learned:

If people are able to make changes on their own, they go ahead and do it.

Most of the time though, people need a little help…an objective sounding board, a brainstorming partner, someone who will hold them accountable to have what it is that they want. I like to think of it as life coaching for really smart cookies.

Are you a smart cookie?

If you are, contact me and let’s get started creating want you want.

Last week in Times Square people had the opportunity to put what they no longer needed into a giant shredder.  What a great way to start the new year!

We have a tendency to hold onto to stuff long after it is useful….clothes that no longer fit, thingamajigs in the kitchen drawer, books we never read, all sorts of stuff that we might maybe possibly need some day.

Even worse we hold on to relationships that aren’t really working, old grievances, hurts and betrayals, bad habits and limiting beliefs.

The problem with old stuff

The problem with keeping things you have out lived is they take up the space that new things might occupy.  We only have so much time and energy.  If you give yours to people, ideas, habits and clutter that don’t enrich your life, you are limiting the time and energy you have for the things that do.

What are you hanging on to that no longer serves you?