Loving the Chaos

Since we only have one crack at this life, it seems strange that so many people are willing to settle for a mediocre existence. Are you one of those people? With an overabundance of commitments and no real clarity about what matters most, it’s easy to slip into a habit of just doing what needs to get done next on the to-do list. Time flies by and you become content with okay, average, or so-so. It’s true that you get the life you settle for. Why not settle for something more? Not perfection, but excellence.

Your personal best is about reaching for your own level of excellence. It requires knowing the difference between those tasks that are important and those which can get less of your attention. It’s about giving the best effort you have on any given day, knowing that some days you have more time and energy than on others. Your personal best reflects a clear set of values and priorities. It’s a commitment that honors quality instead of quantity.

Here are some ways to do your personal best:

Align your actions and values.

When you are clear about what truly matters to you, you are better able to consciously choose actions that reflect those values. Think about the past week. Did you spend most of your time on the things that matter most? If not, make a list of the most important things in your life. Then write down the actions that reflect those values. Schedule those activities first before other less important things.

Choose fewer things to excel at.

You can’t do everything all the time. When you try to spread yourself too thin, you are more tempted to say, “That will do.” especially on things that really matter. Pay attention to those things that tend to use up your time and decide whether they reflect what’s most important. Decide where you want to be average and where you want to be excellent. Excellent or average… parent? housekeeper? health?

Raise the bar for yourself.

Cartoonist Charles Schultz once said that life is like a ten speed bike. Most of us have gears we never use. On things that are really important, do you settle for less than your best effort? Do you find yourself complaining that it’s too hard? If something is a core value for you, its time to suck it up and require more of yourself. Choose one thing and stop letting yourself off the hook with it.

Focus your attention on the task at hand.

Multitasking is a fast track to mediocrity. Do one thing at a time and do it well. When you focus your energy and attention, you will likely do things more efficiently and effectively.

Create boundaries.

If you want to be able to focus your attention and effort on the things that are most important to you, you have to begin to create some boundaries. Learn to say no more often. Say no to requests that will take you away from your primary focus. Ask yourself whether what you are doing is the most effective use of your time? If no, raise the bar for yourself!

Time Magazine has just released its issue of the 100 most influential people in the world.

They’re divided into various categories like leaders & revolutionaries, builders & titans, artists & entertainers, heroes & icons and scientists & thinkers. If you thumb through the pages some of the people will be familiar to you and some you may not recognize. Some you will identify with as influencers and some not so much.

That’s the thing about people who influence us. It’s a pretty subjective experience. Someone once shared with me that they were surprised that they weren’t a bigger influence on me than they were. Just because we think we can, or should influence another person, doesn’t mean they will feel that way. We can’t be everyone’s cup of tea.

Maybe the key to being an influencer is not worrying so much about who you are impacting but more about what impact you’re creating.

I think we’re often most influenced by people who speak to a deep longing we have. People who have trail blazed a path that calls to us. People who see us for who we are, and can be. They’re different for each of us.

These are the people that help you shift your thinking, believe in what’s possible, and in subtle and not so subtle ways create change.

So let’s high five those people you influence you.

Who’s on your most influential list?

If distracting yourself from important tasks has become a long standing habit, sometimes you just need to try substituting a new habit. Remember that managing distractions is all about being in choice – choosing where you want to put your focus in any given moment.

Here are five ways to help keep your focus on the task at hand:

1. Categorize.

According to Stephen Covey, all activities can be sorted into four categories:

• important and urgent (do it right now)
• important but not urgent (can wait but shouldn’t)
• urgent but not important (driven by a time pressure, often someone else’s)
• not important and not urgent (enough said)

Most people get distracted by the last two types of activities. Before you undertake a task, ask yourself which category it falls into.  Are enough of your important things being taken care of, or are you giving too much time to other stuff?

1. Just begin.

Sometimes you look for distractions because you’re finding it difficult to get started doing something.  Inertia can be challenge – its easier to keep doing something else (watch tv) rather than start something new (take the dog for a walk). The way to overcome inertia is to just begin. Shove yourself into a new activity with a commitment to stick with it for only 15 minutes. Most times that’s enough to get you focused.

1. Watch for your favourite distraction.

Everybody has their favourite way to kill time. Identify your preferred method of procrastination and then be on the lookout for it. When you’re drawn to your favourite distraction, ask yourself whether there is something else that needs your attention instead.

1. Be more accountable.

When you are choosing to procrastinate, be more accountable to yourself and others.  Say out loud: “I’m choosing to do X even though Y would serve me better.”

1. Practice meditation

The goal of meditation is not, as some people think, to “empty your mind.” Meditation helps you to quiet your mind so you can more easily hear your true inner voice. It trains you to notice distractions and let them go. That’s a great skill to learn no matter whether you are meditating or trying to focus on a task.