Loving the Chaos

Wouldn’t the world be a cool place if everyone complained less?

That’s the mission of a guy named Will Bowen who is the Lead Minister of the One Community Spiritual Center in Kansas City, MO. He got the idea of using a purple bracelet to bring your attention to your own complaining. Every time you catch yourself complaining, you move the bracelet to the other wrist. So far nearly 6 million purple Complaint Free bracelets have been sent to people in more than 106 countries.

Complaining has to be one of the most annoying and unproductive habits that we engage in. Nobody likes a whiner!

Will is on to a great idea. Awareness is a key element in changing behaviour. You have to know how much you are complaining in order to become complaint free. By moving the bracelet from wrist to wrist, you are drawing your attention to your complaining – catching yourself in the complaining act.

Of course we all need to vent every now and then. But what usually happens is that complaining goes on and on and on and nothing actually changes.

Limit your complaining to 5 minutes max – one time per day max. Use that time to release your frustration and then move on to a concrete solution. When you get really good at recognizing that you are starting to complain, you can even go directly to the solution step.

If you have no interest being proactive about a solution to the problem you’re complaining about, then do us all a favour and stop complaining.

Oh yeah – one of the biggest complaints is about things that other people are doing. Switch it up and ask what YOU can do to improve or change the situation.

Problem solvers are so much more attractive.

Completing a life inventory is a great way to identify what’s working and what’s not working in your life. Done regularly it can help you plan more effectively and point out where simple changes can help get you back on track.
 
Here are some simple tips for making a life inventory an effective strategy:
 
Use a tool.
In order to effectively take a life inventory, it’s helpful to use some sort of tool to focus your evaluation. Whether you choose an informal tool or something more detailed, it should consider all areas of your life including relationships, work, health, finances and recreation. The Wheel of Life is an easy way to do a quick assessment of what’s working and not working for you right now. You can also build your own tool using questions that help you determine the areas that need your attention.For example you might use questions like:

What’s working best in this area?

What I am currently doing that support this area?

What’s not working as well as I would like it to in this area?

What gets in the way?

What’s one simple thing that could improve this area?
 
Schedule it.
Like most things, if you don’t schedule your life inventory, you probably won’t get around to doing it. Think about when would be the most effective time. While it could be at the end of the year, there is no reason to limit your self to then. Perhaps spring or fall is a better time for you to take inventory. Set aside time once or twice per year to evaluate where you are and where you want to go.
 
Do something with it.
Change will only happen if you act on the information and insights you have gained from completing your life inventory. Use it to plan for the next six months or year. Share your inventory with someone else. This is a good way to brainstorm ideas or clarify what you want to do and why.
 
Be focused.
While there might be many things that you want to change, you will be more successful if you limit your focus. Instead of making an overwhelming to-do list of changes, consider instead some small steps that will move you forward. Remember too that the areas that are working well in your life are cause for celebration. They are also a source of information that you can apply to other areas.
 
Check in weekly.
You can also do a quick and simple inventory each week to see how things are. This allows for easy course correction and celebration.

Ask yourself: On a scale of 1 – 10, how was this week?

What’s one simple thing I can do to make next week as good or better? T

his weekly check-in is also a great strategy for families or couples. No finger pointing or blaming. Just a simple assessment of how things are going and what minor change in the coming week will make things better.

Making a list of life goals, commonly called a bucket list, is a great strategy to expand your life experiences and live a life of no regrets.

Here are some tips for creating a bucket list:

Brainstorm what’s possible.

Begin by thinking about these 2 questions:

If time, energy and money were not an obstacle, what experiences would I like to have?

What are the things and experiences that I do not want to regret leaving undone at the end of my life?

Make a written list.

Write down your lists of life goals and experiences. Organize your list into categories that make sense to you. You might want to use categories like these:

• places to visit
• skills I’d like to have
• things I’d like to try
• things I would like to accomplish
• experiences I want to have
• books I want to read
• things in my wildest dreams

Review your list.

One or two times a year review your list. Choose one thing on your list to focus on. Begin taking concrete actions to make this goal possible. Add new things to your bucket list. Think of it as a work in progress.

Share your list.

Let your friends, family and colleagues know what is on your list. There might be someone you know who can help you accomplish your goal. Perhaps they have a contact or resource for you or they might hear of an opportunity to pass along. If they don’t know what’s on your list, they won’t make the connection. Remember the principle of six degrees of separation. Achieving your goal might be easier than you think.

Tune in to opportunities.

When you know what’s on your bucket list, you are more likely to pay attention to opportunities that present themselves out of the blue. You might be surprised at what pops up. Trust that the universe is collaborating on your behalf.

Make a scrapbook.

Instead of simply checking things off the list as you complete them, consider making a scrapbook that celebrates each goal. Include a photo or some other memento and a few lines capturing your experience. Feel free to look back in your life as well and include peak experiences you have already had. They can give you confidence and motivation to move forward on other goals. Imagine coming to the end of your life and being able to flip through this scrapbook of all of the wonderful life goals – large and small – that you have accomplished.