I just spent a few days in Montreal at the International Coach Federation conference where one of them themes was our ability to create negative or positive energy and their effects on others. It’s interesting how life provides real time illustrations to drive home the point.

 On the taxi ride from the airport to the hotel, the driver definitely had a cranky outlook. My couple of attempts at conversation were unsuccessful as the driver impatiently weaved in and out of traffic - at one point coming close to driving on the sidewalk. I’ve been in lots of taxis but this was the first time that a driver rolled down the window and shouted insults at other drivers. Everything seemed to be an irritation for him. Definitely an unpleasant experience and I was glad to finally arrive at the hotel.

Fast forward several days to the return trip to the airport. Different driver, different taxi, different experience. This time the entire trip was filled with light-hearted chatter, laughter, smiles and a couple of jokes. The time just flew by but quite happily I could have spent lots of time stuck in traffic with this guy if that had been the circumstances.  Two different drivers and two different outlooks on life.

On any given day, which taxi are you driving?

Do you take the time to connect with other people or do you put your head down and get through day?

Do you share conversation with others or do you mutter under your breath?

Do you make negative comments or do you smile and laugh?

Positive mental attitude

One of the sessions at the conference explored the idea that our negative thoughts actually physically deplete our energy and that of the people around us. Conversely, positive thoughts expand energy fields. Your positive mental attitude is not just yours -  it is shared with all of us. It seems to me that it doesn’t matter whether you are skeptical of the science or not. Real life experiences show us all the time that being around negative people has an unsettling effect on us. Being around positive people uplifts us. 

Here’s an interesting idea to consider.

You can decide how to respond to that negative energy. You can hold a positive thought for this person - a silent prayer of good wishes. In that simple act, you just might increase their positive energy. At the very least least you can decrease your own.

Sending all of you wherever you are happy thoughts for a wonderful day.

What thoughts are you sending out?

Today our American neighbours go to the polls in what will be an historic election on many fronts. No matter the outcome, a whole bunch of people will end up being disappointed.

Check out a great blog post from That Cool Broad in which she suggests that Monty Python’s philosophy of looking on the bright side of life is the way to handle it.

While we know that Monty Python often has a bit of a warped worldview, this time they get it just right.

From the serious to the mundane, election results to traffic jams, life brings to you lots of stuff you want and lots you’d rather not have. The key to success is always in choosing your perspective or attitude about what’s unfolding.

Looking on the bright side of life is a great mantra for election day and every other one.

What’s your outlook for today?

This weekend in Canada we celebrate Thanksgiving. I had an interesting conversation with the checkout guy in the grocery store - a young man who explained to me that he thought Thanksgiving was a silly reason to have a holiday.

In some respects he’s right. Like Mother’s Day or Father’s Day or Valentine’s on which we honor our parents or our lovers, assigning “giving thanks” to a particular day on the calendar seems to miss the point.

Thanksgiving is something that should take place each and every day.

It’s often said that gratitude is an attitude. Yes that’s true. Even more than that, gratitude is a habit. It’s something that you do routinely - not just once in a while or when the right date rolls around.

Sure it’s easy to let gratitude slip below the radar when life is busy. It seems that we often wait for an unwelcomed jolt that makes us count our blessings. Gratitude as a habit means that you don’t just have a positive attitude. It means that your actions demonstrate your appreciation for the blessings in your life.

So how can can you practice the gratitude habit? 

Like any personal success habit, you need a routine…

• Keep a  journal each day in which you write down the little or big things you are grateful for that day.
• Say thank you more often.
• Tell others what you appreciate about them.
• Practice finding the silver lining in adverse situations.
• Remind yourself that things can ALWAYS be worse than they currently are.
• Take delight in gratitude in all its shapes and sizes - from good health or a loving relationship to warm socks on a frosty night.

What are you grateful for?

Have you seen the video about Christian the lion and his reunion with friends John Rendall and Ace Berg?

If you haven’t, it’s worth a couple of minutes of your time.

Seems though that there are some people who question whether or not this video is a fake.

My response?

Whatever.

Here’s a video that tugs on people’s hearts. You have to be a big lump of concrete to not be moved in some way when you watch this video. It stirs our deepest desires for connection, for love, for enduring friendship. 

Personally I choose to believe its the real deal.

Just the possibility is delightful. Isn’t it curious that some people would rather choose cynicism and turn away from a heart warming of our collective core.

Whether it’s a fake or not is hardly the point. People are feeling a rush of emotion and having conversations about love and possibility. Works for me.

Now go call someone you love.

Tales from my Italian adventure

It’s amazing the judgments we catch ourselves making. Who would have thought that a butcher in a small Tuscan town was actually a renaissance man?

After a long hike through the Tuscan countryside our group ended up at Antica Macelleria Cecchini in the village of Panzano for a pre-arranged dinner with Dario Cecchini. He’s a fifth generation butcher whose family has owned their shop for more than 250 years.

Dario shared with us his philosophy of treating all things with equal respect. He explained that we tend to assign higher value to certain cuts of meat which means that other ones are then considered less worthy. Dario challenged us to consider the inherent value in everything, to treat all the parts of the animal with the same degree of respect. To entertain the idea that simply because something might take more of our time and energy does not diminish its worth.

So we feasted on a meal made from the cow’s knees and shin - a meal that required several hours of preparation to create the tender dishes we enjoyed. Good conversation, fine wine, and to top it all off, at the end of the evening Dario jumped on the table and recited by heart a canto of Dante’s Inferno. Splendid in its original Italian, the impromptu performance moved everyone with its passion.

Food for thought

How many times do we go through our day voting that “this” is better than “that” or giving less time and attention to things that we have decided are less valuable? 

How quickly do we dismiss this based on some pre-conceived idea?

How often do we limit ourselves because we have created a hierarchy for people and experiences?

How frequently in our super speed world do we choose quick and easy out of habit without weighing the option of slower?

Delicacies in the tuscan countryside 

Dario left me some tasty food for thought. His challenge to treat everything with equal respect has remained with me like a satisfying meal. I find myself stopping to consider what hierarchy I’m unconsciously creating or which way I’m voting at any given time. You never know what delicacies you’ll find in the Tuscan countryside.

What judgments are you unconsciously making?

Tales from my Italian adventure

When I first started exploring the world in the mid 1980’s, I admit I succumbed to the clipboard of fun method of travelling. That’s probably a pretty common mistake for novice or infrequent travelers - to have as many sights as possible jammed into the itinerary with the primary purpose being to tick off each one as completed rather than truly experienced.

The allure of the clipboard of fun probably speaks to our desire to “do it all” or to make the most of what we imagine is a once in a lifetime trip. But the dark secret of that dreaded clipboard is that you end up tired with no particularly powerful memories. You might have been to the Uffizi Gallery in Florence but you don’t have a clue what you saw.

Never enough time

What I’ve come to realize is that there will never be enough time to see everything there is to see in the world. I gave up the clipboard of fun method and traded it for a grassroots one. I’ve learned a few things:

• to slow things down, not plan too much, leave lots of free space for unexpected discoveries
• that tourist attractions are nice but the best sights I’ve seen are off the beaten track.
• that connecting with local people is the richest way to learn about an area.

That was one of the delightful parts of this trip to Italy. During our week with David Whyte, we experienced Tuscany through the eyes and stories of some amazing Italians. Everyday people who shared their Tuscany with us. No guidebooks, no tourist attractions.

Create a personal experience

A few years ago I discovered a great company called Context Travel. They design small group tours of famous and not so famous sights that allow travelers an opportunity to really have a personal experience. I’ve taken several tours with them during the past few years and they never disappoint.  On the second half of our trip we had the great pleasure to explore the Oltrarno neighbourhood of Florence with them. An absolutely wonderful experience learning about this less explored part of the city and the artisans who work there.

Next time you plan a trip I encourage you to think about the kind of experience you want to have rather than the list of sights you want to see. Far less exhausting than a clipboard of fun and infinitely more memorable.

What was your best travel experience?

Your mother probably told you that money can’t buy happiness. Well according to a new study, your mother might have been wrong.  Seems that having money doesn’t necessarily make you happy but spending it on other people does - even as little as five dollars.

That got me thinking about what makes people happy - truly content in their lives. Some people have a lot of fancy toys but they don’t seem too happy. Some people seem to have less but are blissfully content. And yes I know people who have both. I think in the end most people are looking to make some sort of difference in the world - to have mattered to another human being and made their life richer.

The Dali Lama says that the very purpose of our life is to seek happiness - to maintain a feeling of compassion or loving kindness.  He says “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”  The more we care for others the greater our own sense of well being.

So how do you do that?

Well the Dali Lama says he tries to treat each person he meets as an old friend. That’s similar to something Wayne Dyer says: when you meet anyone treat the event as a holy encounter. You can bet if either of those guys crossed your path you’d probably feel happy.

My mother used to say, “What goes around, comes around.” When you open your arms to the world, its opens its arms right back. In this case, I think my mother got it just right.

How do you create happiness?

Who would have thought that a simple reusable bag could start such a fascinating conversation? Edmonton Journal writer Paul Simons recently lamented the growing popularity of Lululemon bags.For those of you who haven’t yet encountered Lululemon, it’s a Canadian company which sells yoga inspired athletic apparel. Purchases are put into reusable bags which proclaim the company’s manifesto which includes such gems as:

Sweat once a day.

Creativity is maximized when you’re living in the moment.

Children are the orgasm of life.

Dance, sing, floss and travel.

Simons declared that spiritual advice from an eco friendly bag doesn’t sit well with her.  Readers had lots to say about the article. Some felt that if the bags promoted good living, then what’s the problem? Others disagreed, including one who said if you are consulting a Lululemon bag for spiritual advice, then you honestly have no life!

I guess I must be part of the so-called Lululemon cult.

They make great clothes and have a cool philosophy. And yes I have a couple of bags that come in handy when transporting stuff. Maybe they don’t push my buttons because overall, their advice is a pretty good fit with my way of thinking.

Sure I get inspired by thought provoking books, great conversation and amazing people. But for me, inspiration also comes in the most interesting places…from my dog, Starbucks coffee cups and TV ads.

If something makes you stop and think, or prods you bit or even pushes your buttons, then I think hooray.

Where do you find your inspiration?

Minus 35 Celsius with a wind-chill.  Yikes!

 Here in beautiful Alberta, Canada we are experiencing one of the nastiest cold snaps in years.  And what seems to come along with the frigid air is people’s tendency to get down right cranky.  Most people are crabby, complaining and frustrated as if somehow the weather forecast was a personal attack.  The only thing that makes this kind of cold seem worse is people whining about it.

Last night, in spite of the bitterly cold weather, a large group of people gathered at the University of Alberta to hear Dr. Paul Farmer speak about community based global health care.  This talk was part of International Week - a series of events focusing on global citizenship.

Message of hope 

Dr. Farmer is one of the founding members of Partners in Health, an organization that partners with poor communities to combat disease and poverty.  Check out the really cool resource he used to illustrate some of the inequity that exists in the world.  He also shared the dramatic impact that people can have when they tackle global issues from a perspective of collaboration and possibility.  His message was one of hope even in the face of some of the most depressing situations. 

During his talk no one was thinking about wind-chill or car batteries.  No one was muttering about shoveling snow or frostbite.  Everyone was considering what their contribution might be locally or globally to address issues that belong to all of us no matter where we live.  Everyone was experiencing a global warming of the heart.

Out of your control 

When you become focused on things that are out of your control - things like the weather - you can easily become stuck.  Shifting your perspective to something that is more positive, more proactive, more empowering is a great way to come in out of the cold.

What are you focusing on?

The problem with getting out of the box is that you have to know you’re in one first.

I was interviewed for an on-line article on “burnout at age 25” and never imagined that it would cause a little stir.  According to the journalist this article generated more responses than anything she had written before. 

What were people reacting to? 

The idea that following your passion and doing what you enjoy are actually options in today’s work world.  Burnout is really just a mismatch between what you expect to happen and what you are experiencing.  Seems like there are a lot of people out there who are hugely unhappy in their work, and feel trapped in their little cubicles.  They sound downright miserable.  They’re stuck on the idea that there’s no way out.

Stay or go - it doesn’t matter

The sad part is, whether they decide to stay at their jobs, or move on to something more fulfilling, what they don’t seem to realize is that happiness is simply a choice you make.  It’s not dependent on circumstances.  Period.

I meet people all the time who seemingly have it all - except they are not very happy.  And I also meet people who have more than their share of challenges - and yet they are contented and live with a spirit of gratitude.  When it comes right down to it, you get what you go looking for.  Happiness is always at your fingertips. Figuring out that you are always at choice - particularly about your attitude - is one of those magic little keys to life.

So if you’re stuck in a box - or a cubicle - thinking “that’s just the way it is”, let me reassure you there is another perspective.

How happy are you?