Ask Laurel…
With all of the gloom and doom news in the economic markets these days I find myself worrying more. What’s a good way to manage this uncertainty?
Worry is an unproductive activity. It uses up your time but doesn’t really change anything. You can decide instead to be proactive.
When the going gets tough, successful people get back to basics.
Now is a great time to take inventory on all levels - financially, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Are you clear on your priorities?
Do your current choices and behaviours reflect those priorities?
Is a small or large re-adjustment needed?
Course corrections, whether in financial markets or in life, are a time to step back, evaluate, plan and act wisely. Also remember that no matter the current challenge, there is also an opportunity waiting to be seized. It’s easy to get distracted by worry and miss an opening that might serve you well.
Take inventory.
If you are looking for a quick tool to take inventory, visit my website http://www.stonecirclecoaching.com and look for the Wheel of Life in the Free Stuff section.
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Ask Laurel…
September will soon be here with back to school and lots of sports, clubs and activities. How do I avoid over-committing myself and my family?
There are so many wonderful activities to choose, it’s easy to jam your schedule to overflowing. You probably want to give your children a rich smorgasbord of experiences. But just like a food buffet, if you don’t pick and choose, you just might end up making yourself sick. Over-extended schedules, even made with the best intentions, often result in fast food in the car, rushed conversations and frazzled nerves.
What’s your tolerance level?
Each family has its own tolerance level for commitments. Some families are able to take on lots of things and still feel energized. Other families need fewer commitments in order to function smoothly. Think back to last year.
Did you feel overwhelmed?
Did it seem like you were always rushing from one activity to the next without time to breathe?
If the answer is yes, then being pickier about the things you commit to is probably a good idea.
Consciously create an experience
Consider the experience you want to create for your family when making choices. Participating in one activity, having more fun and feeling less stress far outweighs multiple commitments. And remember to leave some white space in your schedule to allow for all of those unexpected things that will most definitely pop up.
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What’s a vision board and how can it help me reach my goals?
A vision board is simply a collection of images and words that captures the essence of your goal. It’s a concrete representation of what you or your life “looks like” when you have achieved your goal. You can make one using photos or pictures from a magazine. An 8 X 11 cardstock page works well although it can be any size you wish. Glue the pictures and words on in a collage format.
A vision board is helpful in two ways.
First it becomes a powerful reminder of the goal you are working toward. Hanging it in a prominent place lets you see your goal every day. It’s easy to lose sight of a goal when life gets hectic and other commitments crowd your schedule. A vision board provides constant reinforcement of where you are heading.
A vision board can also help with your planning process.
You can use it to plan looking forward by asking yourself, “What is the first step I need to take to get to that vision?” Sometimes it’s hard to see the steps you need to take to achieve a goal. Instead of beginning where you are, you can also use your vision board to plan backwards. Since it presents an image of your final result you can look at it and ask yourself, “What was I doing successfully just before achieving my goal?” Then ask yourself, “What was I doing just before that step?” and so on moving back to where you currently are.
Working with a vision board is just one of the many coaching tools I use with my clients to help them create their best lives.
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I know what I should be doing but I just can’t seem to get my act together. How can I get unstuck?
For many people knowing what to do or even how to do it is not what keeps them from achieving their goals. It’s getting started doing something different. People like to collect up all kinds of books and information on a topic - like healthy eating or fitness or finding balance. But somehow they never seem to translate that great information into action.
Do something
If you want to get unstuck, just start by doing something - anything at all. Inertia - a lack of movement - is a big obstacle to creating change. Often we think that we need to have all our ducks in a row before we begin. Or sometimes the magnitude of a change we’re considering seems overwhelming and so we put it off. Taking the first step, no matter how small, is the way to get some forward momentum. Once you’re moving in the right direction, then you can begin to add in other behaviours and choices.
Start small
Choose something that is easy to do so the commitment doesn’t feel so big. You could take the stairs, or substitute a low fat option or take five minutes of me-time. Commit just for today and then re-commit tomorrow.
Never underestimate the power of one small step. That’s how all great changes started.
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Spring seems to be the perfect time for a fresh start. How can I spring clean my life?
There is something wonderful about spring that puts us in the mood to spruce things up. Maybe it’s the longer days or the warmer temperatures or things growing in the garden. Spring is traditionally a great time to clean house in more ways than one.
Taking care of clutter
Most of us hold on to things far longer than they serve us. Do you have a collection of useful junk that you are hoarding? Take some time to declutter physically, spiritually and emotionally. Sort through the stuff that is piling up around you and donate it to a charity, have a garage sale or toss it out. If you have lots of clutter, simply begin with one drawer or closet.
Next think about de-cluttering your relationships. Sometimes you outgrow a relationship and its time to move on. Sometimes you find yourself surrounded by negative people. It’s okay to shift away from some relationships so that you can move on to others. You’ll have more time and energy for the people that matter most to you.
Your spiritual life needs a little extra attention every now and then too. Now is a great time to reconnect with, or deepen your connection with, your heart and soul. Commune with nature, meditate, worship on a consistent basis.
Refesh your routines
When we spring clean we are shaking off the dust and grime from the winter. You can use that same idea to refresh your routines. What’s become stale in your life? How can you infuse some new energy? What do you need to pay more attention to? Find a different fitness activity, try a new recipe, give up TV, or take up a hobby. You’ll be amazed at what a fresh start can do for you.
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I hear all the time “don’t sweat the small stuff.” How can I begin to do that?
We all get distracted by little annoyances, wanting to get it right or our particular pet peeves. When we let them become the focus of our days, we tend to feel irritated and overwhelmed. The key to not sweating the small stuff is being clear about the big stuff. What matters most to you? In the big scheme of things, are mismatched socks, Cheerios for dinner or how the dishwasher is loaded really all that important?
When you are feeling overwhelmed or annoyed, one simple technique to try is to stop and ask yourself, “Will this really matter one year from today?” If the answer is no, then take a deep breath and let it go. If the answer is yes, then take a deep breath and re-focus with that in mind.
Another way to sweat less of the small stuff is to have less of it on your plate. Get back to basics. Are you someone who tends to say yes to too many commitments? Do you have difficulty saying no because you feel guilty or selfish? Learning some simple tricks to setting boundaries can go a long way in having less small stuff to deal with.
Here’s the most important reason to let the little things go.
Richard Carlson, the author of the “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” series of books, died unexpectedly at the age of 45. You can be sure he was very glad that his short life was not cluttered up by small stuff.
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I’m not a kid anymore but I feel like I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. How do I start to figure it out?
You’re not alone. Lots of people come to a point in their lives when they have a sense of dissatisfaction about the work they do. Sometimes it’s because they’ve never really loved their job and now they have less tolerance for it. Sometimes they have just outgrown it and it’s no longer a good fit for their strengths and interests. And sometimes people reach a point when they begin looking for more meaning or fulfillment in their lives.
While this may create a sense of confusion or restlessness, think of it as an opportunity to explore possibilities. Reflection is the place to begin. Consider what you would do if time, money and experience didn’t limit you.
Think back to when you were younger. What did you want to be then? What about that was appealing to you? Make a list of what you want more of and what you want less of.
Reflection helps to build clarity. It might be that you want to embark on a new career path. It might be that volunteer work would fill your need. Perhaps a different perspective about the work you currently do would make a difference. Spend some time reflecting and from there you can begin to consider what your next steps might be.
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