Loving the Chaos

I have the great good fortune to have many people in my life who provide me with a sometimes needed cosmic kick in the butt. The latest little jolt came from

my friend and colleague Tony Barton who has finally ventured into the world of video blogging after procrastinating about it for some time. In his last newsletter he posed this question:

What if, like me, you stopped making up excuses and just got on with it?

That’s a simultaneously annoying and empowering question, isn’t it?

When someone asks that question, you usually feel the need to justify your inaction. Your first response is likely a flood of “yes, but” answers. Something along the lines of….

They’re not excuses, they’re reasons.

I do want to do this but I don’t have the time, or money, or energy, or fill in the blank.

I am going to do this as soon as I have enough information, or motivation, or skills, or fill in the blank.

But when it gets right down to it, if you really want to do something you have to let go of all of the excuses that have been holding you back. You need to shift from an “I can’t because” attitude to a “How can I?” one.

The empowering part of this question is all about the “What if?” part.

Imagine if you actually just got on with it.

What would become possible?

How would things change?

What new opportunities would open up?

Ever since Tony’s newsletter arrived I’ve been pondering  the things I need to just get on with. Definitely think there are a few excuses that could get kicked out.

What are you making excuses about?

Lately there seems to be a glimmer of hope in all the doom and gloom about the economy. While people might be feeling a little more optimistic, unemployment numbers are still on the rise.

Facing a potential job loss can make you feel like a victim. You spend time and energy worrying and your stress level rises.

There is another way.

Instead of playing the victim in these economic times, you can be proactive in your outlook and actions. Give these workplace ideas a try:

Let go of worry.  Some things are simply out of your control. It’s an unfortunate reality that good people doing good work might still lose their jobs. Instead of spending your time worrying, use that energy to control the things you can – your attitude and actions.

Give up the doom & gloom attitude. In every crisis there is at least one opportunity. We just tend to miss them because we are so focused on the negative. Use this time to practice gratitude for what you have, and keep your eyes peeled for the opportunities. Your attitude at work impacts on your perceived value to the company. Nobody wants to keep a negative nelly.

Become solution focused. Shift into a “how can we..” perspective. Companies are looking for out of the box thinking to help weather these challenging times. Offer potential solutions rather than complaints.

Be a team player. Use “we” rather than “I” thinking. This economic situtation is not just happening to you. Demonstrating a “we’re all in this together” philosophy helps to create optimism. Building relationships is key in your long term success in an organization.

Design a Plan B. Consider now what you would do if you were laid off. Planning before an emergency lets you think with a clearer head. Take a look at your finances and see where you might cut back. Brush off your resume. Keep your industry contacts fresh. Often simply having a plan B makes people feel more secure as it removes some of the uncertainty.

Get back to the basics. During uncertain times there is a great opportunity to take inventory of your life and make some changes. Do you spend your time and energy on the most important things? Are you doing work that you enjoy? Do you have a list of life goals and a roadmap of how to achieve them? Now’s a terrific time to do a little self assessment and re-align things that are off track.

The downturn in the economy is just the current situtation.

Circumstances are never what hold you back.

It’s the way you think about them that makes you unhappy or stuck.

Choose something more empowering than victim.

Some days work seems like a real chore and I come home feeling tired and cranky. How do I leave work at work?

Stress levels in the workplace can sometimes be pretty high, especially in an uncertain economy. When you bring that home, you might as well just sleep at the office.

To make the transition from work easier, try using the commute home as a decompression phase. Imagine as you enter your car (or bus or subway train) that you getting into a transformational chamber. Set an intention that by the time you arrive home, you will have reset your mood and attitude.

Choose music that suits your needs in the moment – to re-energize, to uplift, to let go.

Turn off the talk radio or news.

Focus on your breathing.

Circumstances at work are sometimes out of your control. Making the shift from work to home is a conscious choice to take control in your life where you can.

Post a comment and share your best leaving work at work tip.

And don’t forget to to ask your own “how to” life motivation or strategy question.

Unhappiness is in not knowing what we want and killing ourselves to get it.

Don Herold

What do you want?

This weekend Edmonton Journal columnist Todd Babiak declared that he has been trained to be suspicious of positivity.

In these particularly gloomy doom & gloom times, it seems that positivity is in short supply if you watch TV or listen to talk radio. No wonder people seem a touch crankier than usual. Add to that last night’s switch to daylight savings time and  plunging temperatures and tomorrow could quite likely be a stereotypical Monday.

I’m a big believer in choosing your attitude. I don’t find some of the current victim mentality terribly appealing. I prefer the concept of controlling what you can and letting go of the rest.

 A wise guy once told me that misery doesn’t love company.

Misery loves miserable company.

Go ahead and choose positivity. Give it a concerted effort for 30 days and let me know how it goes. I’ll bet you find happiness loves happy company.

What’s your take on positivity?

Natural chaos is waking up to the radio guy saying:

Bundle up.

Extreme winter driving conditions today!

and then looking out the window to a pile of new snow that thanks to the blustery winds has drifted across roads and sidewalks and doorways.

Okay I’m a nice Canadian girl and I know that winter means snow…and snow shovelling. But sometimes you just want to pull the covers over your head and say “Enough!”

Loving the chaos means going with the flow – or in this case the snow fall – with no more than your five minute daily allotment of complaining.

Know that I took my full five minutes before I put on my big boots and coat and mitts and headed out the door to shovel.

Then I said my little prayers of gratitude that I have a driveway to shovel, I have central heating , a fireplace and a nice stock of red wine. I’m working from home today unlike other poor people who had to actually drive on those extreme roads.

Then I watched my aging and always wise dog Cal who had a blast in the yard leaping through the drifts like he was a puppy.

His perspective: this is a whole new way to play today.

It’s still snowing so I get to go out and play again.

How are you playing today?

I’m a big believer that you create your own reality by the thoughts and images you surround yourself with. You construct your own world view and through your thoughts and actions, you communicate it to the rest of us.

So I’m SO curious about something that I recently saw in a parking lot. Hanging from the rear view mirror of a car was a sign with a 1950’s style woman holding a tomato. And the sign said:

You say tomato and I says f#*%ck you.

Now that’s an interesting world view.

Some of you might say, Laurel lighten up. It’s meant as a joke. Yeah I get that might have been the motive. And here’s something else to consider:

How much time does someone spend in the car?  How often are they looking at a sign that in essence says “It’s all about me buddy”?

No wonder we have such difficulty getting along with each other – locally and globally. How many people saw that sign and for a moment their energy shifted and they thought “yuck”. For how many people did it reinforce their own view that the world is a me-first place?

It’s often the little things that make a BIG difference.

Even the stuff we put on our bumper stickers, wear on our t-shirts and hang from our rear view mirrors. You get to communicate your world view all the time.

Let me know…

If you were going to hang a sign with your world view slogan on it, what would it say?

There’s a new radio station in Edmonton with this slogan:

Life’s good. Sing along!

Now they are a jazz/pop/retro station that is easy to sing along to, particularly if you are of a certain vintage, myself included.

But I think they are on to something bigger.

Life IS good if that’s your outlook.

Life’s good no matter what is happening. And singing along with life is a darn good way to go through your day. Oh sure, you can do the chorus of “Woe is Me” by Poor Little Whiny Guy but that’s not a tune you can dance to.

Mondays are quote day at loving the chaos so here’s another one from Zen Buddhist teacher Taissen Deshimaru:

If you are not happy here and now, you never will be.

Sounds like it could be the lyrics to a song.

Leave a comment and let us know…

What’s your personal theme song?

Natural chaos is rain on your Mexican holiday.

It’s true that you can’t control the weather but somehow we all think that the sun will shine exactly when we want it to.

That’s why some people here seem to have a bit of a scowl on their faces since the weather went from sunny to cloudy to downpour.

If they stop for a minute they might realize that there’s lots of opportunity in a Mexican rainstorm. You can still read a good book.  You don’t need sunscreen. There’s nothing like the smell of the rain or the sound of it hitting the water or the different shades of blue and grey that aren’t usually there in the ocean. You’re already wet when you’re in the pool and on and on.

I passed a guy on the beach wearing a shirt that said:

It’s all good.

Absolutely. Just cause it’s raining outside doesn’t mean it has to be stormy in your head.

Hola.

I’m always delighted when the universe sends us little reminders of what matters if we are only willing to stop and take notice.

Last week Barbara Walters interviewed actor Patrick Swayze about the current state of his health. Swayze was diagnosed  last year with pancreatic cancer and many people immediately began shaking their heads and whispering that it was all over for him.

Swayze shared his philosophy on his situation. He said, “We’re all dying.”

That’s exactly the point isn’t it?

It’s so easy to hang out in denial thinking that we have all the time in the world or to assume that someone with a serious illness has less time than we do. Then he declared that each of us only has 2 choices:

get busy living or get busy dying

Last weekend I held a workshop on creating a vision board. One of the participants was an 80 year old woman who had come to create a vision for the next phase of her life. You’ve got to love that spirit!

She shared that it’s easy to look back in your life and think about the things that didn’t go the way you wanted them to or reflect on missed opportunities. She decided that she would rather look forward to what could come next, to reconnect with her senses and to express more gratitude.

I’d say she’s busy living.

What are you busy doing?