I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.

I love my clients – for a whole bunch of reasons but one of the most delightful is that they say such insightful things. Yesterday I was coaching with a client who was looking at ways to let go of some holiday obligations. You know how it is – the usual running around like crazy, caught up in old habits and feeling overwhelmed.

Then she said:

The holidays are just a microcosm of life.

Insightful! During the holidays…

• Do you find yourself doing things out of habit, guilt or obligation?
• Do you spend time on less significant things at the expense of more important ones?
• Does how you spend your time reflect your priorities?
• Does gift giving become a substitute for something else?
• Are acts of charity just items on your to-do list?

My client’s little insight reminded me of the Zen saying:

How you do one thing is how you do everything.

Chances are if things are a little out of whack during the holidays – overwhelmed, overindulged, over spent, over committed – then likely in some form they are that way during the rest of the year as well.

Give yourself a little gift.

Stop and consider how the holidays are a microcosm for your life. Think about the activities that are a good reflection of you and your values. Think about the activities that don’t align so well with what’s really important.  Now’s a great time to begin planning what simple changes you’d like to make in the new year.

Post a comment and share your holiday insights.

 No it’s not an exotic plant or some new addition to your yogurt.

It’s a term that was first used by psychologist Eric Fromm to describe human beings’ attraction to all that is alive and vital and later expanded upon by American biologist Edward Wilson as a subconscious attraction towards nature and other living things.

So what does that mean for you?

People are naturally attracted to the outdoors and nature.  We’re hard wired to connect with other living things. That’s cool except when you consider that for many people the closest they get to nature is a breathtaking photo on their screen saver. Most people work indoors, often without a window and then they return home after a long day to spend time in front of the TV.

How much time do you spend outdoors?

We’re been having the most wonderful weather in Edmonton and coupled with a four day holiday weekend I’ve been puttering long hours in my garden. It is truly calming and re-energizing.

When I think about my most restorative places and experiences, they always involve nature and the outdoors…the sounds of the birds in the morning, walking the Tuscan countryside, sitting on the deck at the beach house watching the world float by or tending to the plants in the garden.

Being in tune with nature helps to be more in tune with yourself.

So here’s my challenge.

Go outside right now. Stop what you are doing and take five minutes to nurture your biophilia. Connect with other living things. Think about how you can bring more of nature back into your life.

Then when you come back inside post a comment about your outdoor adventure and we can all share in the natural delight.

Ask Laurel…

I know what I should be doing but I just can’t seem to get my act together. How can I get unstuck?

For many people knowing what to do or even how to do it is not what keeps them from achieving their goals. It’s getting started doing something different. People like to collect up all kinds of books and information on a topic – like healthy eating or fitness or finding balance. But somehow they never seem to translate that great information into action.

Do something

If you want to get unstuck, just start by doing something – anything at all. Inertia - a lack of movement – is a big obstacle to creating change. Often we think that we need to have all our ducks in a row before we begin.  Or sometimes the magnitude of a change we’re considering seems overwhelming and so we put it off. Taking the first step, no matter how small, is the way to get some forward momentum. Once you’re moving in the right direction, then you can begin to add in other behaviours and choices.

Start small

Choose something that is easy to do so the commitment doesn’t feel so big. You could take the stairs, or substitute a low fat option or take five minutes of me-time. Commit just for today and then re-commit tomorrow.

Never underestimate the power of one small step. That’s how all great changes started.

What life coaching question would you like to ask Laurel?

Sometimes natural chaos comes with a voicemail message. The utility company called to say that the power in our neighbourhood would be off for several hours today while they replaced an electrical pole. So for me who runs a home based business I had to reschedule some things and then headed out to run a few errands.

I was in one of my favorite stores in downtown St. Albert, Crimson Quill, setting up a couple of workshops I’ll be doing for them in the fall and I explained why I unexpectedly had some free time on my hands.

“I have no power.”

Hearing those words come out of my mouth was a LOL moment. What made me giggle was not that I didn’t any electrical current. It was the statement of the profoundly obvious. 

Most of the time we really have no power over all kinds of situations:

repair work

weather

other people’s behaviour & choices

traffic

contaminated tomatoes

and 101 other things.

Now don’t get me wrong.

I know I have all the power when it comes to certain things like my attitude or my choices – truly the most important things. It was just such a delightful reminder that there are so many things that are outside of my control. Not getting crazy about it and just letting them go is a way to keep things in balance.

Who’d have imagined?

A light bulb moment from the power company.

What’s your latest light bulb moment?

Well it’s finally happened.

Life coaching has made it into the mainstream. How do I know? I was in my local bookstore today and came across Life Coaching for Dummies.

Now I’ve never really been a big fan of that series of books. Not that they don’t have some great basic information on a wide variety of topics. It’s just the name that turns me off.

What I know for certain is that life coaching is not for dummies. Far from it. Life coaching is for people who have made a decision that they want something to change in their lives and they’re willing to put in the effort to make it happen. They’ve figured out that life is one very short ride and they want to make the most of it.

My clients are often in search of one or more of these things:

• They are looking for ways to balance work and family without going insane.
• No matter what age they are, they’re not sure what they want to be when they grow up.
• They want to make a difference in the world and feel like their lives count for something.
• Lots of times they just want to learn how to say no.
• They’re feeling stuck and they want to get unstuck and moving forward.
• They are certainly tired of making the same old excuses.

Nothing dumb about any of those desires.

Life Coaching for Dummies suggests that you can become your own life coach. Not a bad idea…and during the past several years as a life coach who’s helped hundreds of people create change here’s what I’ve learned:

If people are able to make changes on their own, they go ahead and do it.

Most of the time though, people need a little help…an objective sounding board, a brainstorming partner, someone who will hold them accountable to have what it is that they want. I like to think of it as life coaching for really smart cookies.

Are you a smart cookie?

If you are, contact me and let’s get started creating want you want.

I’m not sure how or when, but somewhere along the line I must have angered the luggage gods. Or at least those ones assigned to Rome. A couple of years ago, I and my five traveling companions arrived in Rome and none of our bags did. Not one. Imagine 3 days, sweltering heat and no change of clothes. Okay maybe you don’t want to imagine that.

Fast forward…

to a couple of weeks ago, when once again I arrived in Rome for a hiking retreat in Tuscany. I have to admit the thought of lost luggage did cross my mind once or twice but I shrugged it off thinking I had paid my dues on the last trip.

There’s nothing more discouraging than watching suitcases come along the carousel and yours is not there. I tend to play a little game with myself that I just have to be patient – first bag on – last bag off.  But you know that you are kidding yourself when the only unclaimed bag is a rather sorry looking blue backpack that just keeps going around and around.

Déjà vu

So with a sense of déjà vu and a deep breath, I went through the process of reporting my “delayed” not “lost” suitcase.  I wonder if there is a place where blue backpacks go to report a lost traveler?

There’s some comfort in knowing I’m not alone in luggage limbo. When Heathrow Airport opened a new terminal in April, 15,000 pieces of luggage were stranded.  Apparently the worst European airline for losing bags is TAP Air Portugal, followed closely by British Airways.  The best at not losing bags? Air Malta and Turkish Airlines. Go figure.

This time my suitcase didn’t reappear for four days. In the meantime, I was in the Tuscan countryside with one change of underwear, a borrowed rain jacket, my husband’s t-shirt – his luggage of course appeared on cue – could that be because he’s Italian? – and the same pair of grungy pants.

Going with the flow

During those four days I surprised myself at how un-fixated I was on not having my luggage. It seemed to me that this was the perfect opportunity to go with the flow of natural chaos. My suitcase would turn up in its own time. So I decided to not only make the best of it, but have a great time in spite of it.

And yes I did do a little dance of joy when my suitcase was finally delivered to me.  I wish I had attached a nanny cam to find out where suitcases go when they travel without you.

The best part was when one of my retreat companions said, “I’m glad you have your bag…and thank you for not whining while you didn’t.” Seems like going with the flow makes everyone’s experience better.

What your best going with the flow story?

I love Mondays! 

That’s because Monday is the day our fabulous housekeeper Katie arrives to transform our home back into a thing of organized and sanitized beauty. 

It’s not that we can’t take care of all of the housekeeping tasks that Katie oversees – it’s just that we’d really rather not.  And go figure, she’s one of those people who actually loves cleaning.   When she’s finished for the day we can actually eat off the kitchen floor – and I don’t mean the crumbs that tend to collect during the week.

Lots of people suffer from CHAOS

… the Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome.  In our busy busy lives, clutter runs amok and we begin to curtail our in-home social activities.  Even more sadly, our homes stop being a place of refuge and turn into a place of refuse.  Hiring Katie to keep things under control is a great gift of balance we give ourselves each week.

If you can’t afford the luxury of your own Katie, the Happy Slob offers some practical cleaning tips with a sense of humour.  Or if you want to bring a smile to your face check out Fifteen Secret Shortcuts to Housekeeping Your Mother Never Told You.

Everybody seems to be in search of that elusive life balance.While everyone keeps looking, few of them seem to be finding it. That’s because one of biggest mistakes that people make is to create a faulty picture in their mind of a life in balance. They think life balance means quiet, calm and peaceful.

Not a chance.

Everybody can have a quiet, calm and peaceful life when things are relatively quiet, calm and peaceful. True life balance happens when you are able to weather the times of what I call natural chaos.

You know those times. Things are going along pretty well and BOOM – something happens that disrupts the flow of life.

A traffic jam is a perfect example of natural chaos.

They happen all the time and are pretty much out of your control. And many times you are actually experiencing the ghost of a traffic jam - there doesn’t seem to be any real reason why the cars are crawling along.

What do people typically do when natural chaos descends? They fight against it and that causes a huge sense of imbalance. They direct a lot of energy into the chaos rather than having some strategies for going with the new flow.

Natural chaos swirls around us all the time.

It’s supposed to – that’s the natural part. John Lennon said it best, “Life is what happens while you are making other plans.” It’s knowing how to fall in love with chaos that puts you in the driver’s seat to life balance.