Loving the Chaos

Do not fear going forward slowly; fear only to stand still.

Chinese Proverb

With all of the quick fix advertising that is in our faces, it’s easy to get discouraged with the speed of our progress. We are bombarded on TV and magazine covers with promises of major change in only 6 weeks. It’s no wonder then that when we set goals we sometimes set unrealistic timelines for achieving them.

Once we get discouraged, it’s not long until we quit all together. Small steps taken consistently create sustainable change. So shift your focus away from how quickly you are getting to your goal. Instead focus on today’s habits that will lead you to tomorrow’s success.

Here’s a thought:

It doesn’t matter how fast you are moving on a continuum. It matters most what direction you are facing.

Are you facing in the right direction with your goals?

If no, then pivot around and start facing the other way.

If yes, then focus on the small steps that help to move you forward. That’s how you create success.

The trouble is you think you have time.

Jack Kornfield

We all tend to postpone those things we know are important. Busy schedules and conflicting priorities seem to get in the way.

What important thing are you procrastinating about?

Whether it is a greater commitment to working out, making healthier food choices, decluttering your living space or telling someone how much you appreciate them, whatever it is that you are putting off, begin today.

If today was your last chance to say something that’s been left unsaid, who would you talk to?

If today was your best chance at beginning a new habit or project, what would it be?

Remember tomorrow is promised to no one.

Start today.

It’s easy to let obstacles stop you in your tracks and prevent you from achieving your goals.

Here’s a thought:

The biggest obstacle is in your own head.

There’s always a way around it, through it or over it if you simply think out of the box and try something different.

Any doubts?

Check this video out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hoyk31R4H8U

What’s your best out of the box obstacle eliminator?

Post a comment and share your thoughts.

The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

Erma Bombeck

One of the keys to successfully taking on a new habit is being clear about why you are doing it. Many people set goals without really thinking about the big why:

What is the important reason for making this change?

Knowing your “meaningful motive” lets you align your goals with your personal values.

When things get tough or you are distracted by less important priorities, the underlying motive for your new habit becomes a key in sticking with your goal.

So when you are creating a new goal or establishing a new personal habit, take the time to get clear about your meaningful motive.

What’s the reason that you would be willing to put this goal first above other priorities or distractions?

What concrete difference will this make in your life?

Get that part figured out and sticking with your new habit, even in the tough times, will be easier.

In having this conversation with yourself you might also  find that this goal is not all that meaningful to you – or not enough to make the change. In that case, let it go and find the goal that does make sense for you right now.

Completing a life inventory is a great way to identify what’s working and what’s not working in your life. Done regularly it can help you plan more effectively and point out where simple changes can help get you back on track.
 
Here are some simple tips for making a life inventory an effective strategy:
 
Use a tool.
In order to effectively take a life inventory, it’s helpful to use some sort of tool to focus your evaluation. Whether you choose an informal tool or something more detailed, it should consider all areas of your life including relationships, work, health, finances and recreation. The Wheel of Life is an easy way to do a quick assessment of what’s working and not working for you right now. You can also build your own tool using questions that help you determine the areas that need your attention.For example you might use questions like:

What’s working best in this area?

What I am currently doing that support this area?

What’s not working as well as I would like it to in this area?

What gets in the way?

What’s one simple thing that could improve this area?
 
Schedule it.
Like most things, if you don’t schedule your life inventory, you probably won’t get around to doing it. Think about when would be the most effective time. While it could be at the end of the year, there is no reason to limit your self to then. Perhaps spring or fall is a better time for you to take inventory. Set aside time once or twice per year to evaluate where you are and where you want to go.
 
Do something with it.
Change will only happen if you act on the information and insights you have gained from completing your life inventory. Use it to plan for the next six months or year. Share your inventory with someone else. This is a good way to brainstorm ideas or clarify what you want to do and why.
 
Be focused.
While there might be many things that you want to change, you will be more successful if you limit your focus. Instead of making an overwhelming to-do list of changes, consider instead some small steps that will move you forward. Remember too that the areas that are working well in your life are cause for celebration. They are also a source of information that you can apply to other areas.
 
Check in weekly.
You can also do a quick and simple inventory each week to see how things are. This allows for easy course correction and celebration.

Ask yourself: On a scale of 1 – 10, how was this week?

What’s one simple thing I can do to make next week as good or better? T

his weekly check-in is also a great strategy for families or couples. No finger pointing or blaming. Just a simple assessment of how things are going and what minor change in the coming week will make things better.

Most people in North America own a car. They also know that these 2 things are true:

Perform regularly scheduled maintenance and your car will run smoothly.

Wait for the engine light to go on, and you likely will find yourself with a bigger mess than you needed to have.

Everything from checking your oil to taking it in for a tune up helps you to assess how things are going with your car. Sure sometimes you need major work but more often than not, a little adjustment is all that’s required.

When was the last time you did a maintenance check on your life?

If you are like most people, it’s been a while, Perhaps never. Making the time for a life inventory is one of those jobs that can be easy to put off. There are probably 101 more pressing things on your to-do list. But just like your car, if you ignore the simple tune ups, you’ll find yourself with a life that’s not working nearly as well as it could.

Saving time, focus & energy

Many things in your life can be easily fine tuned if you pay attention to them soon enough. When life has become overwhelming, it’s more challenging to find balance. When relationships have broken down, it takes more energy to rebuild them. When finances are out of control, it’s harder to rein them back in. When you are overweight and out of shape, it takes more motivation to get off the couch. Of course you can always make the changes you want. It’s just that the earlier you catch things, the more time, focus and energy you will probably save. That’s time, focus and energy you can then put into something else.

Making the time to complete a life inventory helps you to identify what’s working and what’s not working in your life. Done regularly it can point out where simple changes can help get you back on track before you need a major overhaul. Even if it turns out that there are some serious adjustments to be made, the sooner you take stock and begin making changes, the more likely you will avoid your life stopping working all together.

Ask yourself:

Right now what area of my life is working the best?

Knowing what’s working can provide you with good information you can apply to other areas.

Then ask:

Right now what area of my life is not working the way I would like it to?

Become your own mechanic. Decide what needs to be done to get this area running more smoothly. Now take one step that will get going in the right direction.

Treat your car well and you can put a lot of miles on it. Same is true of life.

Ask Laurel: Somebody told me they think I need a life coach. So what’s a life coach and why would I want one?

Life coaching is one of the fastest growing segments of the personal development industry but people are still confused about what a life coach does. A life coach is NOT your therapist, your mother or your BFF. You probably already have one or more of those already. A life coach works with you to clarify what you want to change in your life and then helps you create an action plan to make it happen. Many people want to make changes but feel stuck or uncertain about how to get started. They can’t quite see the forest for the trees. Sometimes they need new strategies, a boost of confidence or some motivation. And sometimes they need an objective partner to help keep them accountable. Individuals who want to be at the top of their game, whether they are athletes, executives or ordinary every day people, know that partnering with a coach is one of the smartest choices they can make.

Stone Circle coaching offers a variety of  individual, group and home study programs to help you live your best life.

I have the great good fortune to have many people in my life who provide me with a sometimes needed cosmic kick in the butt. The latest little jolt came from

my friend and colleague Tony Barton who has finally ventured into the world of video blogging after procrastinating about it for some time. In his last newsletter he posed this question:

What if, like me, you stopped making up excuses and just got on with it?

That’s a simultaneously annoying and empowering question, isn’t it?

When someone asks that question, you usually feel the need to justify your inaction. Your first response is likely a flood of “yes, but” answers. Something along the lines of….

They’re not excuses, they’re reasons.

I do want to do this but I don’t have the time, or money, or energy, or fill in the blank.

I am going to do this as soon as I have enough information, or motivation, or skills, or fill in the blank.

But when it gets right down to it, if you really want to do something you have to let go of all of the excuses that have been holding you back. You need to shift from an “I can’t because” attitude to a “How can I?” one.

The empowering part of this question is all about the “What if?” part.

Imagine if you actually just got on with it.

What would become possible?

How would things change?

What new opportunities would open up?

Ever since Tony’s newsletter arrived I’ve been pondering  the things I need to just get on with. Definitely think there are a few excuses that could get kicked out.

What are you making excuses about?

This month’s 10 in 2010 challenge is to Unplug More.

Here’s the simple change to make:

turn off your cell phone & TV during meals

If this month’s challenge is causing you to hyperventilate a bit, keep reading and I’ll give you an alternative later on.

Why would you want to unplug more?

You’ll be more present to mealtimes & eating.

You’ll have a greater opportunity for conversation & connection.

You’ll give yourself a break from constant demands & interruptions.

Here are the rather sad statistics:

The average person watches 4 hours & 49 minutes of television per day.

The average person spends 6 hours & 9 minutes on social networking sites like facebook and twitter per month.

And in our multi-tasking world some people they spend some part of their day watching TV and on the internet simultaneously.

According to a United Nations report, the number of cell phone subscriptions throughout the world has quadrupled, from 1 billion in 2002 to 4.1 billion by December 2008. No wonder everyone is constantly on the phone.

This month’s challenge is really about creating a boundary that can actually help you achieve other goals. More about that next week.

And…

if unplugging at mealtimes seems to big a stretch, then ease into it and unplug for one meal a day. You can expand to include the other meals as the month progresses.

Go ahead & take the challenge – you might be pleasantly surprised at what you discover.

Post a comment & let us know if you are up for the challenge.

 PS  Remember you can always find all of the previous 10 in 2010 tips located in the 10 in 2010 category on the right hand side.

Before you decide where you want to go, it’s usually a good idea to figure out where you are.

Here’s a little quiz.

Answer yes or no to the following questions:

1.   Are you well rested?
2.   Do you get adequate exercise?
3.   Do you practice random acts of kindness?
4.   Do you live within your financial means?
5.   Are you living clutter free?
6.   Do you limit your electronic devices?
7.   Are you an optimist?
8.   Do you manage stress well?
9.   Do you eat a moderate and balanced diet?
10.   Do you take time for personal reflection?

How did you do?

If you answered no to any – or all – of the questions, the 10 in 2010 challenge just might help you begin to create some simple habits that will move you closer to a less stressed, more healthy and happy life.

Starting next week, we’ll focus on some simple changes related to the quiz items. Remember small steps taken consistently create change.

Here’s how you can get started:

I encourage you to keep a notebook or journal about your 10 in 2010 journey. Start by writing down your answers to the quiz and any thoughts that pop up related to it. You’ll want to review this when we get to the end of the year to see what’s changed for you.

Let’s get a conversation started. Post a comment and share your thoughts about the quiz.

PS

Remember you can always find all of the previous 10 in 2010 tips  located in the 10 in 2010 category on the right hand side.