Loving the Chaos

We are a very list oriented culture. We make grocery lists and Christmas lists and household chore lists. I would bet that you have at least one to-do list on the go right now. But there’s one list that people have a tendency to put off that can actually have a dramatic impact on the level of happiness and satisfaction they experience in life.

Before you kick the bucket

A life list, or bucket list, is one that you don’t want to put off any longer. Simply speaking, a bucket list captures all of the things you want to do before you “kick the bucket”. It’s your “no regrets” list. John Goddard is generally credited with first introducing the idea of creating a list of life goals. Then in 2007 the Bucket List movie starring Jack Nicolson and Morgan Freeman brought the idea into popular culture. You might have seen the movie. Did you actually create your own bucket list?

Life is way too short

Life has a way of passing quickly no matter how long you live. Creating a bucket list is one way to be more conscious and proactive about achieving your goals – both big and small. When people live amazingly full and wonderful lives it’s not typically a result of luck. Sure there may be some synchronicity involved, but it’s more likely that people who have had lots of fabulous experiences played an active role in making them happen.

Making a bucket list allows your imagination to run wild with possibilities. If time, energy and money were not obstacles, what experiences would you like to have?

A bucket list is not only a list of wildest dreams. It’s also a list of smaller goals and experiences that you don’t want to miss – everything from learning to hand roll sushi to reading War and Peace.

Making your list

The key to making a bucket list is not to worry about how to make any one thing on it happen. It’s more important to make the list, and then each year consciously work toward achieving at least one thing while being tuned in to other opportunities that might unexpectedly present themselves. It’s not uncommon that once a person makes a life list and starts focusing on it, other opportunities pop up out of the blue. If you have already identified what experiences you are looking for, you are more apt to recognize them when they show up.

Instead of simply adding “make a bucket list” to your endless to-do list, start now by planning what you would like to make happen in your life.

Watch for upcoming tips on creating your bucket list.

Leave a comment:

What’s on your bucket list?

Knowledge of what is possible is the beginning of happiness.

George Santayana

What is possible for you?

Unhappiness is in not knowing what we want and killing ourselves to get it.

Don Herold

What do you want?

This weekend Edmonton Journal columnist Todd Babiak declared that he has been trained to be suspicious of positivity.

In these particularly gloomy doom & gloom times, it seems that positivity is in short supply if you watch TV or listen to talk radio. No wonder people seem a touch crankier than usual. Add to that last night’s switch to daylight savings time and  plunging temperatures and tomorrow could quite likely be a stereotypical Monday.

I’m a big believer in choosing your attitude. I don’t find some of the current victim mentality terribly appealing. I prefer the concept of controlling what you can and letting go of the rest.

 A wise guy once told me that misery doesn’t love company.

Misery loves miserable company.

Go ahead and choose positivity. Give it a concerted effort for 30 days and let me know how it goes. I’ll bet you find happiness loves happy company.

What’s your take on positivity?

There’s a new radio station in Edmonton with this slogan:

Life’s good. Sing along!

Now they are a jazz/pop/retro station that is easy to sing along to, particularly if you are of a certain vintage, myself included.

But I think they are on to something bigger.

Life IS good if that’s your outlook.

Life’s good no matter what is happening. And singing along with life is a darn good way to go through your day. Oh sure, you can do the chorus of “Woe is Me” by Poor Little Whiny Guy but that’s not a tune you can dance to.

Mondays are quote day at loving the chaos so here’s another one from Zen Buddhist teacher Taissen Deshimaru:

If you are not happy here and now, you never will be.

Sounds like it could be the lyrics to a song.

Leave a comment and let us know…

What’s your personal theme song?

There’s something curious about our desire to have science validate things that we know in our hearts. It’s happening a lot lately on the topic of happiness – research on what “really” makes someone happy or how happiness works.  Even Buddhists monks are participating in experiements to figure out the connection between meditation and happiness.

Dan Pink shares the latest list of things that make you happy according to scientific research.

So let’s conduct a little research of our own:

What makes you happy?

Post a comment and share your happiness secrets.

In spite of your best efforts, do you find yourself sometimes getting stuck in the gloom & doom?

Having a little cranky spell?

Indulging in a pity party with too much whine?

That’s natural.

All you need is a little shift in perspective.

Watch this little video and you are guaranteed to smile…or giggle..or outright laugh.

Bookmark this and use it when it’s time for a shift.

One of the highlights of my recent trip to Montreal to attend the International Coach Federation conference was the opportunity to hear in person Matthieu Ricard speak on the subject of happiness. He’s a French scientist who became a Buddhist monk who now does research on the nature of happiness. Here’s one of the things he discovered:

You can learn to be more happy.

Matthieu asks if we spend so much of our time developing a wide variety of skills in life, why do we spend so little on developing our minds. His fascinating research on experienced meditators reveals that happiness is indeed a skill that can be cultivated.

He suggests that happiness is a result of our inner circumstances not a reflection of our outer circumstances. Sounds a lot like the wisdom my grandmother shared with me:

Happiness is not dependent on your circumstances but rather what you do with them.

I had the great fortune to chat with Matthieu briefly following his talk and shared my grandmother’s philosophy with him. In his characteristically charming way, he laughed and agreed that we all have wisdom not just Buddhist monks.

Treat yourself to a new perspective on happiness by watching this 20 minute video.

Post a comment and share your philosophy on happiness.

Yesterday I left you with some questions to ponder about whether your life, like the economy, needs a rescue plan.

When things get tough, successful people take inventory. Taking some time for reflection on questions like those is a good place to start.

Here’s the reason why:

Sure this whole global economic downturn is a complicated thing, but it seems to me that what’s at the heart of this problem is as much a spiritual crisis as a financial one. I’d say we’ve lost our way andI don’t mean to Wall Street.

We’ve lost our way because people buy things they really can’t afford. They are trying to drink champagne on a beer budget. Don’t get me wrong, I like the finer things in life. I think “buy the best you can afford” is a great motto. I don’t want to demonize wealth. I’m a big believer in abundance and all that goes with it.

But I’ll bet many people are up to their eyeballs and beyond in debt because they just had to have the biggest and the best and the newest “whatever” on the block. They bought houses and cars and toys that were really beyond their current means. They went on vacations they hadn’t yet paid for. They got the idea that they were entitled to the same kind of lifestyle that their parents had worked years for.

So why do people do that?

That’s the spiritual crisis. I think lots of people are trying to fill up giant holes in their souls with stuff. They’re trying to buy their way out of guilt. They’ve can’t seem to say no to themselves or their kids.. They’ve forgotten that money and stuff doesn’t buy happiness. If you aren’t content in your life, there’s nothing you’re going to buy at Walmart or Saks Fifth Avenue that will make you feel better. 

When you get right down to it, there’s been a lapse in morality – a steady decline in integrity. It’s sort of like stealing cookies from the cookie jar. You know it’s not right, but you really want that double fudge chocolate chip treat. And you also know, deep down, that eventually you’re going to get caught.

So here’s my challenge to you:

Take advantage of this economic crisis to take inventory on not only your finances, but also your moral compass.

Are your current choices a good reflection of your values?

Are you being a good role model?

Do you live beyond your current means?

Do you have the strength of character to require more of yourself?

What exactly do you stand for?

The great thing about a crisis is that it creates an opportunity to stop, reflect and correct your course as needed. Then you’ll be able to look back at the fall of 2008 and say, “Wow even though it wasn’t too pleasant that was the best thing that could have happened to me.”

What’s at the heart of your current crisis?

The 30 day challenge begins tomorrow!

Remember the question I asked yesterday?

What one habit, if you added it consistently into your life, would make a difference in your happiness or health?

That’s the first key step in the 30 day challenge.

Choose ONE habit – not several – to focus your enegy on during the next month. The more new things you try to introduce at the same time, the less effective you will likely be.

Choose something simple that you can do on a daily basis.

If you are trying to create a new habit and you only do something 2  or 3 times a week, its easier to lose momentum. Let’s say you want to create a habit of going to the gym 3 times a week. For the next month, focus on 20 minutes (or whatever is appropriate for you) of physical activity each day – which could include some trips to the gym.

Pick something specific, rather than something vague – eat 3 servings of veggies rather than eat better or 10 minutes of meditation rather than relax more.

Don’t forget to print your 30 day challenge calendar here.  More about tracking your success tomorrow.

My challenge?

Let me introduce you to a dear friend of mine. 

This is Cal, our 11 year old border collie. Used to be that he and I would regularly go for walks. Over the past little while, I’ve let my commitment to him slide. Not for any particularly good reason – just the usual excuses about being busy with other less important “commitments”.  He has an awfully sweet disposition and like most dogs a very forgiving nature. He loves me anyway. So my 30 day challenge is to get back to daily walks with Cal.  

What’s your 30 day challenge habit?

Post a comment and let us know.