I just returned from a few days in Arizona hiking with some friends. The desert sure is a place that holds a lot of wisdom. Here’s some of the life lessons that I was reminded of as we explored the mountains and canyons near Tucson.

Figure out what works.

With an extreme climate and a shortage of water, everything in the desert has to adapt to the environment. Whether its a shallow root system or a clever way to collect water plants in particular learn what works. That’s true for you in life as well. Learn what works for you and let go of the things that don’t. Life becomes seriously out of balance when we try to go at a pace that is too quick, take on more commitments then we can manage, or forget to re-charge, refuel and restore ourselves.

Find a support system.

Part of the reason why things can survive in the desert is that plants and animals depend on each other: palo verde trees act a nurse plants for the saguaro cactus who then provide shelter for birds like kestrels and flickers. Figuring out that we are all part of an interdependent web of connections is important for humans too. It’s also true that you need a group of people who act as your support system. They are the people who cheer you on, brainstorm ideas and give you a kick in the butt when its needed. Find a mutually supportive network and watch how life takes off.

Be mindful of personal space.

There’s a fascinating plant in the desert called the Jumping Cholla. Get a little too close and it will release its prickly spines on you. Keep a respectful distance and you are just fine. We all have our own personal space that, when invaded by others, tends to make us a little prickly. Know where your personal boundaries are and be willing to communicate them to others before you feel crowded. And at the same time be mindful that others have boundaries that might be different from yours.

Take time to look closely.

With a cursory glance its easy to think that the desert is a barren place. Not true! There is a huge biodiversity – you just have to look closely sometimes to see all of the life that is thriving there. In our busy lives its easy to miss what is right in front of you. If you fly through your day from one task to the next without stopping to be present to the moment, you quite likely will miss the hidden beauty and treasures of the day. The big picture great – just remember to also take the time to observe the details.

Try something different.

I’m definitely an ocean girl but exploring the desert landscape was an absolute delight. It’s easy to get stuck in the same old way of doing things. Having a fresh perspective gives you new ideas, new inspiration, new energy. I’ll definitely go back to the desert for some more lessons.

Lately there seems to be a glimmer of hope in all the doom and gloom about the economy. While people might be feeling a little more optimistic, unemployment numbers are still on the rise.

Facing a potential job loss can make you feel like a victim. You spend time and energy worrying and your stress level rises.

There is another way.

Instead of playing the victim in these economic times, you can be proactive in your outlook and actions. Give these workplace ideas a try:

Let go of worry.  Some things are simply out of your control. It’s an unfortunate reality that good people doing good work might still lose their jobs. Instead of spending your time worrying, use that energy to control the things you can – your attitude and actions.

Give up the doom & gloom attitude. In every crisis there is at least one opportunity. We just tend to miss them because we are so focused on the negative. Use this time to practice gratitude for what you have, and keep your eyes peeled for the opportunities. Your attitude at work impacts on your perceived value to the company. Nobody wants to keep a negative nelly.

Become solution focused. Shift into a “how can we..” perspective. Companies are looking for out of the box thinking to help weather these challenging times. Offer potential solutions rather than complaints.

Be a team player. Use “we” rather than “I” thinking. This economic situtation is not just happening to you. Demonstrating a “we’re all in this together” philosophy helps to create optimism. Building relationships is key in your long term success in an organization.

Design a Plan B. Consider now what you would do if you were laid off. Planning before an emergency lets you think with a clearer head. Take a look at your finances and see where you might cut back. Brush off your resume. Keep your industry contacts fresh. Often simply having a plan B makes people feel more secure as it removes some of the uncertainty.

Get back to the basics. During uncertain times there is a great opportunity to take inventory of your life and make some changes. Do you spend your time and energy on the most important things? Are you doing work that you enjoy? Do you have a list of life goals and a roadmap of how to achieve them? Now’s a terrific time to do a little self assessment and re-align things that are off track.

The downturn in the economy is just the current situtation.

Circumstances are never what hold you back.

It’s the way you think about them that makes you unhappy or stuck.

Choose something more empowering than victim.

Some days work seems like a real chore and I come home feeling tired and cranky. How do I leave work at work?

Stress levels in the workplace can sometimes be pretty high, especially in an uncertain economy. When you bring that home, you might as well just sleep at the office.

To make the transition from work easier, try using the commute home as a decompression phase. Imagine as you enter your car (or bus or subway train) that you getting into a transformational chamber. Set an intention that by the time you arrive home, you will have reset your mood and attitude.

Choose music that suits your needs in the moment – to re-energize, to uplift, to let go.

Turn off the talk radio or news.

Focus on your breathing.

Circumstances at work are sometimes out of your control. Making the shift from work to home is a conscious choice to take control in your life where you can.

Post a comment and share your best leaving work at work tip.

And don’t forget to to ask your own “how to” life motivation or strategy question.

Yesterday I challenged the idea that the recession will result in better work-life balance.

If that is really going to happen, then people will need to start doing some things differently – not because the economic situation has prodded or forced them to, but because they really want to create a more balanced life.

As a life coach, sometimes my job is to point you toward the tough questions. So here are some no nonsense life balance tips. They are not necessarily the warmest and fuzziest suggestions but they are the ones that will set you on a path toward greater balance regardless of whether we’re in a recession or not.

1. Have a candid conversation with yourself.

Take some time to sit quietly and reflect on how in or out of balance your life is. Ask yourself these questions:

Do I have the time and energy to do the activities I love?

Do I go to bed feeling that I have accomplished the most important tasks that day?

Do I set boundaries based on my priorities?

Is life a joyful, fun adventure?

Be honest. If you answered no to these questions, then it’s time to begin to make some more conscious choices.

2. Write down your most important priorities.

If something catastrophic happened and your life was pared down to the basics, what would you want to preserve? I bet those things revolve around your health, your relationships with your family and significant others, your spiritual connection, and what else?

Make a list of these things – they reflect what is most important to you. Let’s call them your key priorities. Are they what get your attention before other things in your day?

3. Take something off your plate.

Remove one commitment from your schedule. We all have obligations that we have agreed to that in hind sight we know we should have declined. When you fill your plate with things that do not reflect your priorities (see #2), you take away valuable time and energy from honoring those priorities.

Go ahead and say no now. Do it with grace and respect. Make a statement that you are removing this commitment in order to honor your commitment to one of your key priorities.

4. Substitute the excuse you are using.

How many times have you told yourself, I would _______, but I’m too tired or I don’t have enough time? Actually you do have time and energy. You are simply using it for something else.

Instead of using your standby excuse of no time or energy, try substituting this:

I would _________, but it’s not a priority for me. It might sound something like this:

I would exercise but it’s not a priority for me. If that feels a little uncomfortable, then you know you are in an area that needs more attention from you.

5. Give yourself a pep talk.

It’s easy to get down on ourselves that we have let things get out of control in our lives. So cut yourself some slack and then choose to do something different. Switch your inner chatter from I can’t/won’t/shouldn’t to more empowering dialogue like:

“I‘m consciously making choices to create more balance in my life.”

“It’s okay to say no when I am honoring my key priorities.”

“That was then, this is now.”

There are lots of strategies and tips on how to create more life balance. Sometimes you need to begin at the beginning with the no nonsense basics. You can do this. Trust me – you will be so glad you did.

Post a comment with your no nonsense life balance tips.

Multi-tasking is either the backbone of civilization as we know it, or the scourge of our very souls.”

So says journalist Heidi Stevens in a recent article describing the multi-tasking mania of an Illinois mother.

I’d say it’s not either/or. It’s both.

Somewhere along the line we got the idea that multi-tasking is a good thing. We even began revering people who seemed to be able to do ten things all at once. We began the mantra that multi-tasking is a necessary evil.

Nonsense.

We aren’t designed to give our focus to multiple things at the same time. Oh, sure walking and chewing gum are fine. But when it comes to trying to do something of importance along with one or more other tasks, all that happens is that we do none of them particularly well.

That’s how we find ourselves in a culture that loves mediocrity.

You can not have a meaningful conversation with someone while you are checking your email.

You can not drive safely while texting or putting on your make-up.

You can not listen to how your kids’ or partner’s day went while you’re watching TV.

How do you spend your time? 

One of the reasons why people think they don’t have enough time is that they shove too many unimportant things into one time slot. They don’t give their mindful attention to the task at hand, especially the really important things like connecting with loved ones.

Fold laundry and watch TV – sure. 

Expect someone to share what’s really happening in their world while your attention is diverted – not a chance.

I’d suggest that it’s better to do fewer things well than a bunch of things half heartedly.

Take a stand for single tasking – especially where it matters.

Ask Laurel…

Spring seems to be the perfect time for a fresh start. How can I spring clean my life?

There is something wonderful about spring that puts us in the mood to spruce things up. Maybe it’s the longer days or the warmer temperatures or things growing in the garden. Spring is traditionally a great time to clean house in more ways than one.

Taking care of clutter

Most of us hold on to things far longer than they serve us. Do you have a collection of useful junk that you are hoarding? Take some time to declutter physically, spiritually and emotionally. Sort through the stuff that is piling up around you and donate it to a charity, have a garage sale or toss it out. If you have lots of clutter, simply begin with one drawer or closet.

Next think about de-cluttering your relationships. Sometimes you outgrow a relationship and its time to move on. Sometimes you find yourself surrounded by negative people. It’s okay to shift away from some relationships so that you can move on to others. You’ll have more time and energy for the people that matter most to you.

Your spiritual life needs a little extra attention every now and then too. Now is a great time to reconnect with, or deepen your connection with, your heart and soul. Commune with nature, meditate, worship on a consistent basis.

Refesh your routines

When we spring clean we are shaking off the dust and grime from the winter. You can use that same idea to refresh your routines. What’s become stale in your life? How can you infuse some new energy? What do you need to pay more attention to? Find a different fitness activity, try a new recipe, give up TV, or take up a hobby. You’ll be amazed at what a fresh start can do for you.

What life coaching question would you like to ask Laurel?

Sometimes someone else takes exactly what you’re thinking and says it just perfectly.

Nic Askew is a talented film-maker who makes short films about life and the human spirit for monday9amfilms. 

What if life were hidden in the heart of every experience? 

That’s what loving the chaos is all about.  Life brings you the whole spectrum of colours, emotions, and experiences.  Deciding to fall in love with all of it is what balance is all about.

Ever feel like you’ve got your head stuck somewhere? 

Had a moment when you say, “What was I thinking?”  That happened to a kitty named Wild Oats who had his head stuck in a peanut butter jar for 19 days before he was finally caught and rescued from his glass prison.

You have to imagine that Wild Oats must have had what seemed like a good reason to shove his head into a jar.  Maybe peanut butter was an appealing treat.  Maybe he’s just one wild and crazy cat always up for a challenge.  Whatever the reason, I bet as soon as his head was in the jar he had one big oh-oh moment.

So here’s the thing…

before you go sticking your head into something that might not be such a great idea, STOP and weigh the pros and cons.  One of the reasons why life feels out of balance is because you make unconscious choices.  You jump into something without really asking whether you have the time, energy or desire for it.  And then once you’ve said yes, you feel stuck in the commitment.

And if you go ahead and end up getting stuck, often the best thing you can do is get some help rather than running around trying to avoid it. 

Life is meant to have a few risks.  If you feel like sowing some wild oats, go ahead.  Just be sure you have a plan for getting your head out of the jar.

One reason why life feels out of balance

Maybe life feels like it’s out of balance sometimes because you’re expending way too much energy trying to be someone you’re not.

Brad Paisley  gets it just right in this video.  With the soaring popularity of social networking sites like MySpace and Facebook, people now have the ability to virtually re-create themselves in whatever fashion they want.  Unless of course someone posts a group photo that shows you in a less than flattering light.

A recent survey by jossip.com suggests that one in five people make up stuff on their Facebook interest pages just to sound more sophisticated. 

And we all know it won’t be long before we start receiving those dreaded Christmas letters in which people share their “amazing” life from the past year.  They just happen to leave out all the stuff than sounds too normal or routine.

Making real not virtual changes

Perhaps if we weren’t so worried about what the other guy thinks, and were more okay with the way we are, we’d have a lot more time to make some of the changes we think we want.

Ok I agree Brad Paisley is a cutie, but I wouldn’t write off Jason Alexander either.  Most women say they want  a man with a sense of humour. 

Or wait…is that just something they write on their Facebook profiles?