Loving the Chaos

Ask Laurel:  Whenever I’m faced with a decision I just can’t seem to make up my mind. How do I quit waffling and decide?

It’s easy when faced with a decision to get caught up in a circular conversation of “should I” or “shouldn’t I”. The problem with waffling is that usually whatever the problem is, it gets worse, or an opportunity passes you by.

Certainly you want to take your time with big choices. Consider all the options. Stretch yourself beyond the most obvious 2 solutions and think about other creative ones. Weigh the pros and cons and make a choice.

Remember most of the decisions you make are not life-altering. Think of them as a chance to test a theory or try something new or create a learning experience. The more confident you become with decision making on the small stuff, the easier it will be when you are faced with a huge choice.

Leave a comment:

What are your best decision-making tips?

And be sure to ask Laurel your own “how to” life motivation or strategy question.

This month’s 10 in 2010 challenge is to Unplug More.

Your challenge for the month is to turn off your cell phone & TV during meals.

Next week we’ll add in a new challenge.

The key is to stick with this unplugged commitment for the rest of the year.

Just keeping this simple boundary is a step toward reducing stress, more mindfulness and richer conversations.

If it’s been working for you, you might consider what other unplugged boundaries you want to create:

• check email only once per day
• decide on your TV viewing ahead of time rather than surfing
• record your favourite shows and watch them when its most convenient (and commercial free)
• limit your internet usage to specific times

• declare an unplugged day per week or month

Post a comment & share your unplugged ideas.

PS  – Remember you can always find all of the previous 10 in 2010 tips located in the 10 in 2010 category on the right hand side.

This month’s 10 in 2010 challenge is to Unplug More.

Your challenge for the month is to turn off your cell phone & TV during meals.

It’s been two weeks being unplugged.

What have the benefits been?

What have you learned about yourself?

For those of you who are seeing the benefit of creating boundaries about when and where you are plugged in, here’s another little challenge:

turn off your cell phone while driving

Most places will have cell phone legislation sooner rather than later so get with the program now. It’s a safety issue plain and simple.

What phone call is so important that you would risk your safety and that of those around you?

When you think about the boundaries you create in your life, do they reflect the things that are most important to you?

Or are you willing to blur the edges for convenience or someone else’s priorities?

Take a stand for what you believe in and let your actions reflect it.

Post a comment & let us know how unplugged is, or isn’t working for you.

PS – Remember you can always find all of the previous 10 in 2010 tips located in the 10 in 2010 category on the right hand side.

Ask Laurel: Lately I find myself complaining more. How can I avoid becoming a chronic complainer?

We all have times when we need to vent a little. It’s a good way to release tension and clear the air. Complaining on the other hand is simply an annoying and unproductive habit. Nobody likes a complainer.

If your rant lasts less than 5 minutes and happens infrequently, you’re likely just venting. If you find yourself complaining on a daily basis, it’s time for a more pro-acrtive response.

Complaining rarely changes a situation. Consider ways you can channel the same energy into a positive action. It might mean that you need to stop or start doing something differently. Instead of complaining about other people’s behaviour, ask yourself what you can do to improve things.

If you have recently started to complain more frequently, consider whether you are feeling more overextended and/or underappreciated than usual. It may be time to re-evaluate your commitments or ask for help.

Leave a comment and share:

What do you like to complain about?

Be sure to ask your own “how to” life motivation or strategy question.

This month’s 10 in 2010 challenge is to Unplug More.

Your challenge for the month is to turn off your cell phone & TV during meals.

For some of you this one is not too hard. It’s actually a refreshing change.

For others unplugging even for half an hour is a stretch.

One of the big obstacles to having enough time to do what is important to you is not setting boundaries. That and the internal conversation you have with yourself about why you can or can’t do something.

What’s the underlying belief you are holding that encourages you to leave your cell phone or the TV on during meals?

Maybe it’s something like…

I need to be in constant touch with the office, my kids, stock market updates or ?

My multi-tasking doesn’t impact on the people around me.

I have to be busy all the time.

Unless there is a real emergency going on – like you are waiting for the birth of a child, or a call from the transplant team, you can indeed create a boundary that protects mealtimes.

During meals you have a chance to have an undistracted conversation with other people. You can pay attention to what you are eating and when you feel full. You can take time to refuel your body and relax.

Take a look at the excuses you are making for not being able to meet this month’s challenge.

If you have been easing into this challenge, raise the bar a bit. Add more mealtimes that are unplugged.

Post a comment & let us know how unplugged is, or isn’t working for you.

PS    Remember you can always find all of the previous 10 in 2010 tips located in the 10 in 2010 category on the right hand side.

This month’s 10 in 2010 challenge is to Unplug More.

Here’s the simple change to make:

turn off your cell phone & TV during meals

If this month’s challenge is causing you to hyperventilate a bit, keep reading and I’ll give you an alternative later on.

Why would you want to unplug more?

You’ll be more present to mealtimes & eating.

You’ll have a greater opportunity for conversation & connection.

You’ll give yourself a break from constant demands & interruptions.

Here are the rather sad statistics:

The average person watches 4 hours & 49 minutes of television per day.

The average person spends 6 hours & 9 minutes on social networking sites like facebook and twitter per month.

And in our multi-tasking world some people they spend some part of their day watching TV and on the internet simultaneously.

According to a United Nations report, the number of cell phone subscriptions throughout the world has quadrupled, from 1 billion in 2002 to 4.1 billion by December 2008. No wonder everyone is constantly on the phone.

This month’s challenge is really about creating a boundary that can actually help you achieve other goals. More about that next week.

And…

if unplugging at mealtimes seems to big a stretch, then ease into it and unplug for one meal a day. You can expand to include the other meals as the month progresses.

Go ahead & take the challenge – you might be pleasantly surprised at what you discover.

Post a comment & let us know if you are up for the challenge.

 PS  Remember you can always find all of the previous 10 in 2010 tips located in the 10 in 2010 category on the right hand side.

Before you read any further, watch this one minute video (and thanks

to Jaime Kessel for passing this treat along to me).

TAKE THIS AWARENESS TEST

Now I know that you will take a minute to watch the video again. I did! I also know that you’re probably thinking, ‘How did I miss that?”

It is so easy to miss the thing you are not looking for. In other words when you are too focused on one thing, you likely won’t see something else that happens by.

I’m all for uni-tasking rather than multi-tasking. I’m a big believer in being present to the moment. But if you are so focused on the task at hand to the exclusion of everything else, you just might miss some really cool stuff.

So what’s the lesson here?

Yes focus on one thing at a time.

Yes practice mindfulness.

AND raise your gaze periodically and see what else is there.

Regularly ask yourself: What might I be missing?

Shift your focus for a moment and look at the other side. If you routinely think about what’s not working in your life, ask what is working? If you usually think about what’s working, stop every once and a while and ask what isn’t working.

You just might find a moon-walking bear.

I know some of you have specific goals for 2010 that may or may not line up with the simple changes we’re going to implement through 10 in 2010.

No worries!

You can use the same “small steps taken consistently create change” philosophy with your personal goals too.

Here’s how:

Think about your goal.

Write it in one sentence.

Then make a list of some simple changes that you could make that will contribute to that goal.

Remember you don’t have to take it all on at once to ultimately be successful.

Pick one of those simple changes and make a commitment to it. When that change has become a consistent habit, go back to you list and add in something else.

If you need some ideas about simple changes you could implement for your personal goal, just ask!

Monthly draw!

And there are so many people joining the challenge I’ve decided to run a monthly draw. If you have subscribed for the 10 in 2010 Challenge, you name will automatically be entered into the draw. January’s winner will be announced next week.

Leave a comment and share:

What do you hope to change in 2010?

Before you decide where you want to go, it’s usually a good idea to figure out where you are.

Here’s a little quiz.

Answer yes or no to the following questions:

1.   Are you well rested?
2.   Do you get adequate exercise?
3.   Do you practice random acts of kindness?
4.   Do you live within your financial means?
5.   Are you living clutter free?
6.   Do you limit your electronic devices?
7.   Are you an optimist?
8.   Do you manage stress well?
9.   Do you eat a moderate and balanced diet?
10.   Do you take time for personal reflection?

How did you do?

If you answered no to any – or all – of the questions, the 10 in 2010 challenge just might help you begin to create some simple habits that will move you closer to a less stressed, more healthy and happy life.

Starting next week, we’ll focus on some simple changes related to the quiz items. Remember small steps taken consistently create change.

Here’s how you can get started:

I encourage you to keep a notebook or journal about your 10 in 2010 journey. Start by writing down your answers to the quiz and any thoughts that pop up related to it. You’ll want to review this when we get to the end of the year to see what’s changed for you.

Let’s get a conversation started. Post a comment and share your thoughts about the quiz.

PS

Remember you can always find all of the previous 10 in 2010 tips  located in the 10 in 2010 category on the right hand side.

I woke up this morning to gremlins in the computer and counted my blessings that I have a great resource in Catherine Vu  and her wonderful tech team.

Sometimes I find computers to be the most curious of inventions. The vast majority of us rely on computers but don’t really have a clue about how they actually work.

Kind of like life. 

Most of the time we go along our merry way and then we hit a glitch. We’re not quite sure how or why it happened. Wouldn’t it be great if life had a little pop-up box like the computer that said:

Do you really want to do this?

On the computer I’m never quite sure but my techies tell me that most of the time the answer is yes.

What would it be like to have a little pop-up in life that helped you be more conscious about your decisions? Sure just like the computer the answer would likely be yes. But every so often stopping and asking that question might just save us from making an unconscious choice.

Just curious…

What would you like your pop-up box to say?