Loving the Chaos

I just returned from a few days in Arizona hiking with some friends. The desert sure is a place that holds a lot of wisdom. Here’s some of the life lessons that I was reminded of as we explored the mountains and canyons near Tucson.

Figure out what works.

With an extreme climate and a shortage of water, everything in the desert has to adapt to the environment. Whether its a shallow root system or a clever way to collect water plants in particular learn what works. That’s true for you in life as well. Learn what works for you and let go of the things that don’t. Life becomes seriously out of balance when we try to go at a pace that is too quick, take on more commitments then we can manage, or forget to re-charge, refuel and restore ourselves.

Find a support system.

Part of the reason why things can survive in the desert is that plants and animals depend on each other: palo verde trees act a nurse plants for the saguaro cactus who then provide shelter for birds like kestrels and flickers. Figuring out that we are all part of an interdependent web of connections is important for humans too. It’s also true that you need a group of people who act as your support system. They are the people who cheer you on, brainstorm ideas and give you a kick in the butt when its needed. Find a mutually supportive network and watch how life takes off.

Be mindful of personal space.

There’s a fascinating plant in the desert called the Jumping Cholla. Get a little too close and it will release its prickly spines on you. Keep a respectful distance and you are just fine. We all have our own personal space that, when invaded by others, tends to make us a little prickly. Know where your personal boundaries are and be willing to communicate them to others before you feel crowded. And at the same time be mindful that others have boundaries that might be different from yours.

Take time to look closely.

With a cursory glance its easy to think that the desert is a barren place. Not true! There is a huge biodiversity – you just have to look closely sometimes to see all of the life that is thriving there. In our busy lives its easy to miss what is right in front of you. If you fly through your day from one task to the next without stopping to be present to the moment, you quite likely will miss the hidden beauty and treasures of the day. The big picture great – just remember to also take the time to observe the details.

Try something different.

I’m definitely an ocean girl but exploring the desert landscape was an absolute delight. It’s easy to get stuck in the same old way of doing things. Having a fresh perspective gives you new ideas, new inspiration, new energy. I’ll definitely go back to the desert for some more lessons.

Your perspective on anything determines whether you experience opportunity or challenge. There’s a great video at Self Growth.com by Neale Donald Walsch, author of Conversations with God.

Here’s the tidbit I liked best:

Fear is need announced.

What a great perspective! It gives you a concrete strategy to manage fear by asking yourself, “What do I need in this moment?”

Once you are aware of your need, then you can release the fear and take a proactive step toward meeting that need.

Lots of other juicy ideas in the video. Pour a cup of tea and watch.

I’ve started hanging out on Twitter and the most interesting things cross your path there.

Like Jonathan Mead’s blog post earlier this week called The Lie of the Four Hour Work Week in which he challenges our ideas about work. It’s worth your time to read it.

Standing on a spot 

It resonated with me because he’s on the same page with respect to perspectives. The spot you stand on or the lense you look through on anything, work included, colours everything about it.

If you are standing on a spot called drudgery, then no wonder you keep hitting the snooze button in the morning. If you see work as just another pile of things to get through by quitting time, then you’ve already quit.

If you hold work as sacred as Jonathon suggests, everything shifts.

David Whyte talks about the three marriages in our lives: one with ourselves, one with our partner and one with our work. What if we held work in the same loving way as our partner?

 Jonathan asks this beautiful question:

“With the work you do today, how can you create the biggest positive impact in other people’s lives, while fulfilling your own dreams at the same time?”

That shifts things.

Don’t you love the internet? It connects you to the most amazing people you might never have met otherwise. It starts conversations. It shares ideas. It lets you shift spots even for a few minutes.

Go ahead – connect, converse, share, shift.

Natural chaos is waking up to the radio guy saying:

Bundle up.

Extreme winter driving conditions today!

and then looking out the window to a pile of new snow that thanks to the blustery winds has drifted across roads and sidewalks and doorways.

Okay I’m a nice Canadian girl and I know that winter means snow…and snow shovelling. But sometimes you just want to pull the covers over your head and say “Enough!”

Loving the chaos means going with the flow – or in this case the snow fall – with no more than your five minute daily allotment of complaining.

Know that I took my full five minutes before I put on my big boots and coat and mitts and headed out the door to shovel.

Then I said my little prayers of gratitude that I have a driveway to shovel, I have central heating , a fireplace and a nice stock of red wine. I’m working from home today unlike other poor people who had to actually drive on those extreme roads.

Then I watched my aging and always wise dog Cal who had a blast in the yard leaping through the drifts like he was a puppy.

His perspective: this is a whole new way to play today.

It’s still snowing so I get to go out and play again.

How are you playing today?

I’m a big believer that you create your own reality by the thoughts and images you surround yourself with. You construct your own world view and through your thoughts and actions, you communicate it to the rest of us.

So I’m SO curious about something that I recently saw in a parking lot. Hanging from the rear view mirror of a car was a sign with a 1950’s style woman holding a tomato. And the sign said:

You say tomato and I says f#*%ck you.

Now that’s an interesting world view.

Some of you might say, Laurel lighten up. It’s meant as a joke. Yeah I get that might have been the motive. And here’s something else to consider:

How much time does someone spend in the car?  How often are they looking at a sign that in essence says “It’s all about me buddy”?

No wonder we have such difficulty getting along with each other – locally and globally. How many people saw that sign and for a moment their energy shifted and they thought “yuck”. For how many people did it reinforce their own view that the world is a me-first place?

It’s often the little things that make a BIG difference.

Even the stuff we put on our bumper stickers, wear on our t-shirts and hang from our rear view mirrors. You get to communicate your world view all the time.

Let me know…

If you were going to hang a sign with your world view slogan on it, what would it say?

Natural chaos is rain on your Mexican holiday.

It’s true that you can’t control the weather but somehow we all think that the sun will shine exactly when we want it to.

That’s why some people here seem to have a bit of a scowl on their faces since the weather went from sunny to cloudy to downpour.

If they stop for a minute they might realize that there’s lots of opportunity in a Mexican rainstorm. You can still read a good book.  You don’t need sunscreen. There’s nothing like the smell of the rain or the sound of it hitting the water or the different shades of blue and grey that aren’t usually there in the ocean. You’re already wet when you’re in the pool and on and on.

I passed a guy on the beach wearing a shirt that said:

It’s all good.

Absolutely. Just cause it’s raining outside doesn’t mean it has to be stormy in your head.

Hola.

A man is rich in proportion to the number of things which he can afford to do without.

Thoreau

How wealthy are you?

One of the highlights of my recent trip to Montreal to attend the International Coach Federation conference was the opportunity to hear in person Matthieu Ricard speak on the subject of happiness. He’s a French scientist who became a Buddhist monk who now does research on the nature of happiness. Here’s one of the things he discovered:

You can learn to be more happy.

Matthieu asks if we spend so much of our time developing a wide variety of skills in life, why do we spend so little on developing our minds. His fascinating research on experienced meditators reveals that happiness is indeed a skill that can be cultivated.

He suggests that happiness is a result of our inner circumstances not a reflection of our outer circumstances. Sounds a lot like the wisdom my grandmother shared with me:

Happiness is not dependent on your circumstances but rather what you do with them.

I had the great fortune to chat with Matthieu briefly following his talk and shared my grandmother’s philosophy with him. In his characteristically charming way, he laughed and agreed that we all have wisdom not just Buddhist monks.

Treat yourself to a new perspective on happiness by watching this 20 minute video.

Post a comment and share your philosophy on happiness.

I just spent a few days in Montreal at the International Coach Federation conference where one of them themes was our ability to create negative or positive energy and their effects on others. It’s interesting how life provides real time illustrations to drive home the point.

 On the taxi ride from the airport to the hotel, the driver definitely had a cranky outlook. My couple of attempts at conversation were unsuccessful as the driver impatiently weaved in and out of traffic – at one point coming close to driving on the sidewalk. I’ve been in lots of taxis but this was the first time that a driver rolled down the window and shouted insults at other drivers. Everything seemed to be an irritation for him. Definitely an unpleasant experience and I was glad to finally arrive at the hotel.

Fast forward several days to the return trip to the airport. Different driver, different taxi, different experience. This time the entire trip was filled with light-hearted chatter, laughter, smiles and a couple of jokes. The time just flew by but quite happily I could have spent lots of time stuck in traffic with this guy if that had been the circumstances.  Two different drivers and two different outlooks on life.

On any given day, which taxi are you driving?

Do you take the time to connect with other people or do you put your head down and get through day?

Do you share conversation with others or do you mutter under your breath?

Do you make negative comments or do you smile and laugh?

Positive mental attitude

One of the sessions at the conference explored the idea that our negative thoughts actually physically deplete our energy and that of the people around us. Conversely, positive thoughts expand energy fields. Your positive mental attitude is not just yours -  it is shared with all of us. It seems to me that it doesn’t matter whether you are skeptical of the science or not. Real life experiences show us all the time that being around negative people has an unsettling effect on us. Being around positive people uplifts us. 

Here’s an interesting idea to consider.

You can decide how to respond to that negative energy. You can hold a positive thought for this person – a silent prayer of good wishes. In that simple act, you just might increase their positive energy. At the very least least you can decrease your own.

Sending all of you wherever you are happy thoughts for a wonderful day.

What thoughts are you sending out?

Today our American neighbours go to the polls in what will be an historic election on many fronts. No matter the outcome, a whole bunch of people will end up being disappointed.

Check out a great blog post from That Cool Broad in which she suggests that Monty Python’s philosophy of looking on the bright side of life is the way to handle it.

While we know that Monty Python often has a bit of a warped worldview, this time they get it just right.

From the serious to the mundane, election results to traffic jams, life brings to you lots of stuff you want and lots you’d rather not have. The key to success is always in choosing your perspective or attitude about what’s unfolding.

Looking on the bright side of life is a great mantra for election day and every other one.

What’s your outlook for today?