This is day two of the 30 day challenge.

Here’s today’s tip:

Trying to be 100% compliant with your new habit is not necessary for your success. You are trying to create a new habit - not achieve perfection - so planning an escape hatch is a key strategy in keeping on track.

Decide how many times this month you want to cut yourself some slack - days when you don’t have to do your new habit and you don’t have to have a reason why. Keeping up with your commitment at least 80% of the time will likely create great progress. So out of 30 days, you could use an escape hatch up to 6 times. Deciding how many is entirely up to you.

Let’s say that you decide you will give yourself 3 escape hatches this month. Any time you are considering not doing your new habit, ask yourself whether you want to use an escape hatch. When they are all gone, they are gone, so consider carefully whether you really want to use one that day. Perhaps there will be another day later on when you really want to use one.

The act of consciously weighing your decision often is enough to help you keep your commitment on those days when “you just don’t feel like it” or when you’ve over scheduled. If you decide to use your escape hatch, do it without guilt. Escape hatches are there to be used.

If you like you can make a tangile card to represent each of your escape hatches. Post them beside your calendar and when you use one, tear it up. This is another visual reminder of your commitment and progress.

Tune in tomorrow for meaning motives.

What’s your escape hatch plan?

If I had a nickel for every person who set out to achieve a goal and abandoned it along the way I’d be a very wealth woman. Getting started or sticking with a plan for change is often a challenge. The Ultimate Guide to Motivation is jam packed with great ideas about how to achieve your goal.

Setting yourself up for failure

Typically people jump into an action plan without having spent enough time thinking about “why am I doing this?” Because “I should” or someone else thinks “you should” are rarely good enough reasons to propel you toward your goal. Or doing it for some vague reason like “better health” or “my family” often won’t sustain you through the inevitable tough patches you will encounter. And superficial reasons like “looking super hot at my high school reunion” might get you so far but they likely won’t help you maintain your goal once the reunion has come and gone.

Find a meaningful motive

One key to success is to find a meaningful motive - one that resonates with you at a heart level.  You have to have a reason for doing something and when it comes to change, especially big change, you want that reason to be closely linked to the things that are most important to you. Doing that will help you get through any roadblocks with greater ease.

Listening to your heart

Sometimes it takes a little work to plug into your meaningful motive. You have to look past the first couple of superficial layers to get to what really matters.  What does your heart want? Do you want to get in shape to be able to participate fully in your children’s lives?  Do you want to get your life back in balance to have more and richer time with your partner?  Do you want to de-clutter your house so you have a sacred space to honor yourself?

Taking time for personal reflection helps to connect to your meaningful motive. You’ll know you are getting close when you get a little lump in your throat or are a bit teary eyed. That’s a good sign that you’ve plugged into your heart. Motivation from this place is powerful.

Re-connect daily

Create a vivid picture in your mind or design a vision board so you can see clearly why this change is meaningful - why you are willing to stick with it until you’re successful.

Then as you implement your action plan, revisit that motive daily. In the midst of things, it’s easy to lose sight of why you are doing something. Plugging back in each day helps you keep both your goal and your motive top of mind.

You can have your heart’s desire. Just let your heart help guide the way.

What’s your meaningful motive for change?

Tales from my Italian adventure

Paolo Fanciulli is not a guy who lets a few obstacles get in his way. A fisherman who lives in Talamone next to the Parco Naturale della Maremma in Tuscany, Paolo is a shining example of the impact one person can have. We got to spend the day with him learning about his passion for the sea.

Thinking outside the net

For the past twenty years Paolo had been attempting to bring government and public awareness to the devastating damage that trawl fishing nets do to the sea bed. Although illegal, fishing using these nets has gone on unhindered for years causing the destruction of the naturally growing sea grass which provides a habit for fish, oxygenates the water and prevents coastal erosion. Years of trawl nets has left the fish population depleted and the sea floor devastated.

After repeatedly running into opposition, roadblocks and indifference, Paolo got the idea to create “pescaturismo” - which gives travellers an eco-conscious opportunity to experience the natural environment while gaining an appreciation for environmental needs of the area. Paolo figured if people could have a first hand experience they would rally behind the cause of sustainable fishing.

Building blocks of success

Deciding that the government’s minor fines for trawl fishing would never dissuade large companies from continuing to destroy the sea floor, Paolo came up with another plan: to put what he calls case per i pesci or “fish houses” along the sea floor to prevent the use of trawl nets. These large hollow concrete blocks imbedded with hooks essentially tear through the nets while providing the fish with a safe haven for breeding.

Last year through Paolo’s awareness campaign and fundraising efforts, 250 of these fish house were placed along the coastline of the Parco Naturale Maremma. One year later he says they are already seeing the positive impact. Trawlers no longer fish this section of the coastline and the sea floor and marine population is improving. What I especially loved about Paolo was, when asked whether we could make a donation to the cause he declined. “The fish houses are now in place,” he said. “What I need you to do now is tell people about the problem and what’s possible.”

There’s always a way

If you find yourself facing one obstacle after another in reaching your dream, Paolo’s advice would be to find a blend of optimism, activism and pragmatism. You may have to consider plan B or even C to get the job done. What Paolo has demonstrated is when you have a vision and are committed to making to a reality, where there’s a will, there’s a way.

Tales from my Italian adventure

When I first started exploring the world in the mid 1980’s, I admit I succumbed to the clipboard of fun method of travelling. That’s probably a pretty common mistake for novice or infrequent travelers - to have as many sights as possible jammed into the itinerary with the primary purpose being to tick off each one as completed rather than truly experienced.

The allure of the clipboard of fun probably speaks to our desire to “do it all” or to make the most of what we imagine is a once in a lifetime trip. But the dark secret of that dreaded clipboard is that you end up tired with no particularly powerful memories. You might have been to the Uffizi Gallery in Florence but you don’t have a clue what you saw.

Never enough time

What I’ve come to realize is that there will never be enough time to see everything there is to see in the world. I gave up the clipboard of fun method and traded it for a grassroots one. I’ve learned a few things:

• to slow things down, not plan too much, leave lots of free space for unexpected discoveries
• that tourist attractions are nice but the best sights I’ve seen are off the beaten track.
• that connecting with local people is the richest way to learn about an area.

That was one of the delightful parts of this trip to Italy. During our week with David Whyte, we experienced Tuscany through the eyes and stories of some amazing Italians. Everyday people who shared their Tuscany with us. No guidebooks, no tourist attractions.

Create a personal experience

A few years ago I discovered a great company called Context Travel. They design small group tours of famous and not so famous sights that allow travelers an opportunity to really have a personal experience. I’ve taken several tours with them during the past few years and they never disappoint.  On the second half of our trip we had the great pleasure to explore the Oltrarno neighbourhood of Florence with them. An absolutely wonderful experience learning about this less explored part of the city and the artisans who work there.

Next time you plan a trip I encourage you to think about the kind of experience you want to have rather than the list of sights you want to see. Far less exhausting than a clipboard of fun and infinitely more memorable.

What was your best travel experience?

Retreats are a great way to take a vacation from schedules and commitments and to participate in activities that allow you to re-connect with the best parts of yourself. Taking the time for a personal retreat allows you the opportunity to re-energize, reflect and relax.  A retreat is different from a holiday. It’s a series of semi-structured activities that are designed for you to connect with yourself outside of your typical routines.

Do it yourself

Sometimes one of the biggest obstacles to retreating can be the cost of attending an organized event. No problem! You can design your own “do it yourself” retreat. With the summer weather upon us, now is the perfect time. Your personal retreat can be any length; if this is the first time you are planning a personal retreat, a single day is a great way to start.

Here are five ways to help you plan a low cost retreat:

1.  Commit.

The first step in planning any retreat, regardless of cost, is making a commitment to doing it. There are lots of excuses that can get in the way of you taking some personal time. You first have to give yourself permission to be “all about me” for a day. That might require you to create a perspective that supports your self nurturing, for example:

• When I care for myself I am better able to care for others.
• Personal growth is a cornerstone of my life journey.
• I encourage others’ independence when I take time for myself.

The bottom line is when you nurture yourself, you have a richer contribution to give to the world.  It’s a win-win for everyone. 

2.  Arrange.

Make arrangements to create a free day for yourself.

• Take a day off work and plan your retreat around school hours.

• Trade child care with a friend - she probably could use a retreat too!
• If taking a day off work is not an option, schedule your retreat for a Saturday or Sunday.
• Trade time with your partner. He or she would probably like to have a day to him/herself whether it’s for retreating or something else.
• Don’t think you have to take care of all the details. Nothing bad will happen if the kids eat cereal for dinner.

3.  Choose.

Choose where you would like to have your retreat. It might be in your own home if it’s possible to not have the distractions of other people or commitments. Turn off your cell phone and computer. Don’t answer the door. Leave the laundry and dishes to another day - or tidy up the space the night before.

You might consider locations outside your home such as a park or natural area. Many communities have retreat facilities that are connected to churches. Often you can rent a room for a private retreat for a day or weekend at a nominal cost even if you are not affiliated with the church. Many yoga studios also host one day retreats that are inexpensive.

4.  Plan.

Research some reflection activities using the internet, browsing a bookstore or the library. Choose a couple that appeal to you. Think of other activities that re-energize you - yoga, walking, meditation, art. Then write a schedule of activities that you want to include in your day. You’ll feel that there is a structure and purpose to your retreat. And allow yourself flexibility in adjusting the schedule as the day unfolds.

As you are feeding your soul, you also have to feed your body. Think about the food you want to eat. Consider lighter meals. Food preparation can be done ahead or as a part of your retreat activities.

5. Save.

Start a “retreat fund” and put some money away each week. Ten dollars per week into a jar will amount to $520 at the end of a year. This will give you some cash to attend retreat opportunities that might pop up. Sometimes when you see a great retreat advertised you don’t have the funds to attend. Planning ahead for a retreat in the future - even if you don’t know what it is yet - gives you lots of flexibility to respond when something appeals to you.

What “do it yourself” retreat ideas do you have?

The odds of successfully maintaining your new year’s resolutions are pretty abysmal - about 75% of people abandon their attempts at change.  So how do you raise your odds for success?

Plan for success.

Most people either have no plan at all or they spend all of their time planning and never get around to taking action.  You know, buying the self-help book but never reading it, shopping for great workout gear but never getting to the gym or stocking up on great organizer bins but never throwing anything out.

Having a plan that considers the strategies you’ll use, how you’ll manage evitable setbacks, and who will support and encourage you, is a critical step in successfully creating change.

Design a realistic goal.

If you are a decade long coach potato it’s not realistic that you will run a marathon in the next few months.  Many people create goals that are way out of their reach.  Then they become discouraged by their slow progress and old habits become comforting.

Setting a goal that is challenging but doable lets you experience success - and success breeds more success.  The marathon will always be there next year.

Create a success circle.

You can’t do it alone.  Most people think that they can tough it out on their own and somehow asking for help makes you seem weak.  Hogwash.

People who are successful at creating change know that surrounding themselves with others who can educate, support, encourage, brainstorm and hold them accountable is a key in achieving their goals.  Asking for help is a sign of commitment.

Have clarity.

Vague goals are tough to achieve because you never really know what you need to do to be successful.  Things like organize my life, improve my relationships, get healthy sound great but could mean a hundred different things.

Set goals that are clear to you and others.  If you’re stuck writing it down with clarity, ask yourself, “What will I be doing differently when I achieve this goal?”

Decide.

People who waffle around are not ready to be successful.  If you are still having the debate with yourself about whether you should or shouldn’t, will or won’t, you are likely still in the contemplation stage of change.  Action does not occur if you are still thinking about it. 

It is the moment when you actually decide that change begins.  When you finally put your feet on the floor and get out of bed to go to the gym, then your goal becomes possible.  Anything becomes possible once you decide.

Think about it this way:

You can be one of the 25% of people who are successful.