Loving the Chaos

This month’s 10 in 2010 challenge is to Eat Well.

Your challenge for the month is to make at least one healthy substitution in your current diet.

I know simple substitutions may not seem like they can make much of a difference.

Remember your mantra for this year:

Simple steps taken consistently create change.

Here’s the thing – most people give up when they try to overhaul their entire way of eating. They feel deprived or overwhelmed at taking on so much change all at once. Eating well is about making changes that you can stick with – forever.

How much difference can simple substitutions make?

A lot. Making a substitution that saves 100 calories can result in a 10 pound weight loss in one year – even if you change nothing else. If weight loss is not your goal, substitutions can also be healthier choices for your body, particularly your heart.

Here are some other substitutions to try:

• substitute egg whites for whole eggs
• substitute olive or canola oil for butter or partially hydrogenated fats
• substitute nonfat or low fat dairy for full fat dairy

Post a comment  & let us know what substitution you are trying.

PS – Remember you can always find all of the previous 10 in 2010 tips located in the 10 in 2010 category on the right hand side.

Ask Laurel: Somebody told me they think I need a life coach. So what’s a life coach and why would I want one?

Life coaching is one of the fastest growing segments of the personal development industry but people are still confused about what a life coach does. A life coach is NOT your therapist, your mother or your BFF. You probably already have one or more of those already. A life coach works with you to clarify what you want to change in your life and then helps you create an action plan to make it happen. Many people want to make changes but feel stuck or uncertain about how to get started. They can’t quite see the forest for the trees. Sometimes they need new strategies, a boost of confidence or some motivation. And sometimes they need an objective partner to help keep them accountable. Individuals who want to be at the top of their game, whether they are athletes, executives or ordinary every day people, know that partnering with a coach is one of the smartest choices they can make.

Stone Circle coaching offers a variety of  individual, group and home study programs to help you live your best life.

Ask Laurel:  Whenever I’m faced with a decision I just can’t seem to make up my mind. How do I quit waffling and decide?

It’s easy when faced with a decision to get caught up in a circular conversation of “should I” or “shouldn’t I”. The problem with waffling is that usually whatever the problem is, it gets worse, or an opportunity passes you by.

Certainly you want to take your time with big choices. Consider all the options. Stretch yourself beyond the most obvious 2 solutions and think about other creative ones. Weigh the pros and cons and make a choice.

Remember most of the decisions you make are not life-altering. Think of them as a chance to test a theory or try something new or create a learning experience. The more confident you become with decision making on the small stuff, the easier it will be when you are faced with a huge choice.

Leave a comment:

What are your best decision-making tips?

And be sure to ask Laurel your own “how to” life motivation or strategy question.

The great thing about a bucket list is that it helps you actually experience some of life’s coolest adventures. Attending Carnevale in Venice (think Mardi Gras with an Italian twist) has been on my bucket list for a long time. With a rich historic tradition and an abundance of pageants, masquerade balls, parades and concerts, I knew Carnevale would be a sensory delight.  

During a recent trip to Italy, indeed Carnevale did not disappoint – a cavalcade of colour, music and people. And of course dressing in Renaissance garb, wandering the streets admiring other costumes and attending events brought some life lessons into clearer focus.

Everybody wears a mask.

It’s not just during a festival like Carnevale or Halloween or Mardi Gras that people wear masks. Every day we conceal parts of ourselves depending upon the circumstances and company. Some people are more transparent about who they are. Others are afraid to let their real selves out into the light for fear of rejection. They think others might not like them or that somehow their authentic self is not quite enough. Think about the mask you wear each day. How willing are you to speak your truth?

You can only wear a mask for so long.

No matter how well designed, every mask gets a little uncomfortable after a while. It itches or rubs a bit, or your vision might be hampered. You get to the point where it’s just time to take it off. That’s true for the mask that you wear day in and out. After a while it gets a little uncomfortable concealing your real self. You get itchy to show up more fully, even in spite of the cost. Wait too long and you might find that unmasking is accompanied by a poor choice of words, or a burst of anger. Pay attention to that uncomfortable feeling. It’s a good sign that it’s time to reveal yourself.

A bucket list helps you make a goal become a reality.

I’ve been to Italy several times so why had it taken so long to get to Carnevale? The weather in Italy in February is not the most charming and that became a great excuse. Having Carnevale on my bucket list eventually forced me to face that excuse head on. Carnevale IS in February so if it was actually something I wanted to experience in this life, I would just have to get over the potential weather. Carnevale was amazing; the weather was not!

Creating a life list of goals is a sound strategy to help you make those goals a reality. Once you’ve added something to the list, the conversation can become more about “how can I make this happen?” rather than about the inevitable excuses for why it might be a challenge. And, of course, watching for the perfect opportunity to present itself. In this case, my daughter has been completing a semester in Italy so it seemed like just the right time to check off a bucket list item.

Making a list of life goals, commonly called a bucket list, is a great strategy to expand your life experiences and live a life of no regrets.

Here are some tips for creating a bucket list:

Brainstorm what’s possible.

Begin by thinking about these 2 questions:

If time, energy and money were not an obstacle, what experiences would I like to have?

What are the things and experiences that I do not want to regret leaving undone at the end of my life?

Make a written list.

Write down your lists of life goals and experiences. Organize your list into categories that make sense to you. You might want to use categories like these:

• places to visit
• skills I’d like to have
• things I’d like to try
• things I would like to accomplish
• experiences I want to have
• books I want to read
• things in my wildest dreams

Review your list.

One or two times a year review your list. Choose one thing on your list to focus on. Begin taking concrete actions to make this goal possible. Add new things to your bucket list. Think of it as a work in progress.

Share your list.

Let your friends, family and colleagues know what is on your list. There might be someone you know who can help you accomplish your goal. Perhaps they have a contact or resource for you or they might hear of an opportunity to pass along. If they don’t know what’s on your list, they won’t make the connection. Remember the principle of six degrees of separation. Achieving your goal might be easier than you think.

Tune in to opportunities.

When you know what’s on your bucket list, you are more likely to pay attention to opportunities that present themselves out of the blue. You might be surprised at what pops up. Trust that the universe is collaborating on your behalf.

Make a scrapbook.

Instead of simply checking things off the list as you complete them, consider making a scrapbook that celebrates each goal. Include a photo or some other memento and a few lines capturing your experience. Feel free to look back in your life as well and include peak experiences you have already had. They can give you confidence and motivation to move forward on other goals. Imagine coming to the end of your life and being able to flip through this scrapbook of all of the wonderful life goals – large and small – that you have accomplished.

Ask Laurel: Lately I find myself complaining more. How can I avoid becoming a chronic complainer?

We all have times when we need to vent a little. It’s a good way to release tension and clear the air. Complaining on the other hand is simply an annoying and unproductive habit. Nobody likes a complainer.

If your rant lasts less than 5 minutes and happens infrequently, you’re likely just venting. If you find yourself complaining on a daily basis, it’s time for a more pro-acrtive response.

Complaining rarely changes a situation. Consider ways you can channel the same energy into a positive action. It might mean that you need to stop or start doing something differently. Instead of complaining about other people’s behaviour, ask yourself what you can do to improve things.

If you have recently started to complain more frequently, consider whether you are feeling more overextended and/or underappreciated than usual. It may be time to re-evaluate your commitments or ask for help.

Leave a comment and share:

What do you like to complain about?

Be sure to ask your own “how to” life motivation or strategy question.

Do you feel like you are held hostage by the holiday season?  Are you balanced precariously on the edge of sanity like the Grinch on the top of Mount Crumpit? 

Well you are not alone. 

Most people go over the top during the holidays – they over-commit, over-consume and overwhelm themselves with expectations.  Instead of feelings of peace and goodwill, people often find themselves tired, cranky and powered by guilt.  Their faces start to scrunch up into that Grinch-like scowl and fun is the last thing on their minds.  Taking care of the never-ending to-do list becomes the number one priority.  Then before they know it, the holidays have come and gone and January leaves them asking, “Is that all there is?”                               

Does that sound like you?

There is a way to de-Grinch yourself and steal back Christmas.  You can take back control by trying some new and unusual ways to hijack the holidays. 

Let go of your traditional time and energy drainer

I’ll bet that there is some holiday tradition that you have been holding on to just because it is a tradition.  No one really likes it anymore, everyone groans or mutters under their breath at the thought but you suck it up and do it anyway.  Let it go. 

Now some of you are gasping at the thought – how could you possibly do that?  I’m all for traditions – but only when they are rooted in meaning and everyone enjoys them.  If a tradition doesn’t have much meaning anymore and everyone grumbles, let it go this year.  One of two things will happen – everyone will miss it so much that next year they will revive the tradition with a renewed sense of enthusiasm – or everyone will breathe a sigh of relief and space opens up for creating some new tradition.

Give everyone on your list a very expensive gift

Well not any expensive gift.  Give them permission to say no.  Make a nice little card that can be traded at any time for a respectful, “No thanks.”  It’s a relatively simple gift to give but it gets a little costly when the person cashes in their card.  Quite likely they might say no to something you really want them to say yes to.  That’s where the true value of this gift comes – your gracious acceptance of a boundary being set.  No arguments, no negotiating, no whining.  Just a simple, “Thanks for using your gift.  I hope you enjoy it.”

Divide your time and money in half

Figure out your budget for Christmas – both how much money you spend and how much time you spend running around.  Now divide them both in half.  Spend half of your money and time on the usual things.  There never seems to be enough time and money at this point in the year so spend half of it and don’t worry about it.

Take the other half of your time and money and give it to charity.  Write a cheque to a cause you love.  Then find out how giving half of your holiday time to someone who needs it is infinitely more rewarding.  Charities have lots of tasks that need to be done – some that can be taken care of from your home – so there’s sure to be something that’s a good fit for you.

Recycle the one thing that no one will notice

I know many women who spend a lot of time – and money – in search of the perfect holiday dress.  Wear the one you wore last year.  Men do it all the time – they don’t run around looking for the next great black suit.  Chances are last year’s holiday outfit was some version of the little black dress anyway.  Unless you wore something revealing all of your earthly charms, I guarantee no one will remember what you had on.  Save yourself the time, money and aggravation.

Give yourself the gift of a life time

We all love getting presents so go ahead and give yourself one that will last a lifetime.  Chances are there is someone in your life – past or present – that you need to forgive.  Carrying around the burden of hurt and disappointment takes a huge toll.  Give yourself permission to forgive.  You don’t necessarily have to say anything.  This is a gift that lives in your heart.  And it’s one with a double whammy.  Whether you say anything out loud or not, you get the benefit and so does the other person.  There’s nothing more priceless than letting go.

You know the Grinch figured out that the holidays are about intangible things.  Sure, ribbons and papers and bows are nice, but after a while stuff is just stuff.   Stealing back Christmas is about choosing to do something different.  All the Who’s in your ville might be delighted.

Lately there seems to be a glimmer of hope in all the doom and gloom about the economy. While people might be feeling a little more optimistic, unemployment numbers are still on the rise.

Facing a potential job loss can make you feel like a victim. You spend time and energy worrying and your stress level rises.

There is another way.

Instead of playing the victim in these economic times, you can be proactive in your outlook and actions. Give these workplace ideas a try:

Let go of worry.  Some things are simply out of your control. It’s an unfortunate reality that good people doing good work might still lose their jobs. Instead of spending your time worrying, use that energy to control the things you can – your attitude and actions.

Give up the doom & gloom attitude. In every crisis there is at least one opportunity. We just tend to miss them because we are so focused on the negative. Use this time to practice gratitude for what you have, and keep your eyes peeled for the opportunities. Your attitude at work impacts on your perceived value to the company. Nobody wants to keep a negative nelly.

Become solution focused. Shift into a “how can we..” perspective. Companies are looking for out of the box thinking to help weather these challenging times. Offer potential solutions rather than complaints.

Be a team player. Use “we” rather than “I” thinking. This economic situtation is not just happening to you. Demonstrating a “we’re all in this together” philosophy helps to create optimism. Building relationships is key in your long term success in an organization.

Design a Plan B. Consider now what you would do if you were laid off. Planning before an emergency lets you think with a clearer head. Take a look at your finances and see where you might cut back. Brush off your resume. Keep your industry contacts fresh. Often simply having a plan B makes people feel more secure as it removes some of the uncertainty.

Get back to the basics. During uncertain times there is a great opportunity to take inventory of your life and make some changes. Do you spend your time and energy on the most important things? Are you doing work that you enjoy? Do you have a list of life goals and a roadmap of how to achieve them? Now’s a terrific time to do a little self assessment and re-align things that are off track.

The downturn in the economy is just the current situtation.

Circumstances are never what hold you back.

It’s the way you think about them that makes you unhappy or stuck.

Choose something more empowering than victim.

Some days work seems like a real chore and I come home feeling tired and cranky. How do I leave work at work?

Stress levels in the workplace can sometimes be pretty high, especially in an uncertain economy. When you bring that home, you might as well just sleep at the office.

To make the transition from work easier, try using the commute home as a decompression phase. Imagine as you enter your car (or bus or subway train) that you getting into a transformational chamber. Set an intention that by the time you arrive home, you will have reset your mood and attitude.

Choose music that suits your needs in the moment – to re-energize, to uplift, to let go.

Turn off the talk radio or news.

Focus on your breathing.

Circumstances at work are sometimes out of your control. Making the shift from work to home is a conscious choice to take control in your life where you can.

Post a comment and share your best leaving work at work tip.

And don’t forget to to ask your own “how to” life motivation or strategy question.

Looking for some cool and best of all – FREE – resources?

Check out this list of free personal development ebooks compiled by Peter at thechangeblog.

As he says… ”many of these ebooks require you to subscribe to regular updates or a newsletter to receive the ebook (you can always unsubscribe, right?”

Take some time to browse. The tidbit of info you’ve been looking for might just be a click away.