Loving the Chaos

“Where were you when?” moments happen as part of our collective experience. They bring us together as we share joy and sorrow and history in the making.

Your own life has moments etched in time too.

They are the moments or experiences that cause you to stop and take notice, that perhaps change your life path, that also bring you joy and sorrow.

Sometimes we call them pivotal moments or peak experiences.

Things like:

birth

death 

an accomplishment

a unique experience

an insight, AHA or revelation

Just like “where were you when” moments, these experiences connect you to something deeply important within yourself. They remind you of something or highlight its significance. They might show you a theme in your life.

Take some time to think about the peak experiences in your life. 

Consider the ones that had the most impact on you. Try not to judge them. They may be big life events. And sometimes they are moments that on the surface seem quite trivial yet they packed an emotional punch for you.

What emotions did they create?

What core value did they reflect?

What reminder did they cause?

How did they impact on your life?

Please share a comment by clicking on the “Comments” like below.

I’d love to hear what moments are etched in your life time.

Please share a commen

Today is day 5 of the 30 day challenge.

So how’s it going?

For those of you who have been able to meet your challenge commitments - high fives!

For those of you who have had a little difficulty sliding into a routine, cut yourself some slack and get back at it today. A couple of missed days won’t impact your success. Giving up now most certainly won’t get you closer to your goal

Today’s tip:

Set a schedule for when you will do your new habit. Without a scheduled time, most people let their day completely slip away, they feel tired, or just plain run out of time.

Make an appointment with yourself.

For most people, the earlier in the day, the better. That way the natural chaos in the day won’t impact on you getting it done. And there’s a real morale boost to know that it’s been taken care of rather than hanging over your head as the day goes along.

You don’t necessarily have to commit to the same time each day but be sure to decide at least by the night before when you will take care of this new habit. That gives you flexibility in your schedule and allows you time to enlist the help of others if necessary.

Tune in tomorrow for a powerful tool.

Post a comment and share how your first 5 days have been.

My challenge….

I had forgotten what a great time for reflection my walks with Cal were. I’ve had some good ideas and insights these past 5 days as we have strolled along. It was particularly gorgeous this morning. It had rained last night so there was a light fog and the leaves were damp giving that wonderfully autumn scent to the air.

Yes I used an escape hatch on Friday. I’m allowing myself 6 this month so I felt just fine about giving myself permission to skip one day even this close to the beginning. It’s amazing what rules we begin to make up about how and when to give ourselves permission. Don’t think that a certain number of days in the challenge have to pass before you use one of your escape hatches.

Today is day 4 of the 30 day challenge.

Out of sight out of mind.

We write things down that we want to remember.  Whether its your grocery list or an important phone number or appointments on a calendar, we write things down so we won’t forget. With your new habit, it’s not so much that you might forget about it. It’s more that you might become distracted from it.

Making a written commitment, rather than just keeping it in your mind, is a great strategy to both hold your focus and make a written declaration of your priority. Partnered with your meaningful motive, your have a strong anchor to help keep you on track.

At the bottom of your calendar there is a space for writing your new habit. Look at what you have written there. Is it a strong statement of your commitment? If not, write it again using more powerful language such as “I am commited to ….”  Then add your meaningful motive.

Think of your written commitment as your contract with yourself. You are probably very good at honouring your commitments to others. Take the next 26 days and honour your commitment to you.

Tune in tomorrow to find out why timing is everything.

How’s your challenge going?

This is day two of the 30 day challenge.

Here’s today’s tip:

Trying to be 100% compliant with your new habit is not necessary for your success. You are trying to create a new habit - not achieve perfection - so planning an escape hatch is a key strategy in keeping on track.

Decide how many times this month you want to cut yourself some slack - days when you don’t have to do your new habit and you don’t have to have a reason why. Keeping up with your commitment at least 80% of the time will likely create great progress. So out of 30 days, you could use an escape hatch up to 6 times. Deciding how many is entirely up to you.

Let’s say that you decide you will give yourself 3 escape hatches this month. Any time you are considering not doing your new habit, ask yourself whether you want to use an escape hatch. When they are all gone, they are gone, so consider carefully whether you really want to use one that day. Perhaps there will be another day later on when you really want to use one.

The act of consciously weighing your decision often is enough to help you keep your commitment on those days when “you just don’t feel like it” or when you’ve over scheduled. If you decide to use your escape hatch, do it without guilt. Escape hatches are there to be used.

If you like you can make a tangile card to represent each of your escape hatches. Post them beside your calendar and when you use one, tear it up. This is another visual reminder of your commitment and progress.

Tune in tomorrow for meaning motives.

What’s your escape hatch plan?

The 30 day challenge begins tomorrow!

Remember the question I asked yesterday?

What one habit, if you added it consistently into your life, would make a difference in your happiness or health?

That’s the first key step in the 30 day challenge.

Choose ONE habit - not several - to focus your enegy on during the next month. The more new things you try to introduce at the same time, the less effective you will likely be.

Choose something simple that you can do on a daily basis.

If you are trying to create a new habit and you only do something 2  or 3 times a week, its easier to lose momentum. Let’s say you want to create a habit of going to the gym 3 times a week. For the next month, focus on 20 minutes (or whatever is appropriate for you) of physical activity each day - which could include some trips to the gym.

Pick something specific, rather than something vague - eat 3 servings of veggies rather than eat better or 10 minutes of meditation rather than relax more.

Don’t forget to print your 30 day challenge calendar here.  More about tracking your success tomorrow.

My challenge?

Let me introduce you to a dear friend of mine. 

This is Cal, our 11 year old border collie. Used to be that he and I would regularly go for walks. Over the past little while, I’ve let my commitment to him slide. Not for any particularly good reason - just the usual excuses about being busy with other less important “commitments”.  He has an awfully sweet disposition and like most dogs a very forgiving nature. He loves me anyway. So my 30 day challenge is to get back to daily walks with Cal.  

What’s your 30 day challenge habit?

Post a comment and let us know.

Sometimes it seems that time is passing so quickly.

I was in a store the other day and there were Christmas items on display. Yikes! We haven’t even gotten to Thanksgiving or Halloween yet!

One of the reasons that time feels like its flying by is that we put our attention and focus on things coming in the future rather than being present to this day.

Did you know there are 100 days left in this year?

That’s a lot of time to accomplish things if you focus on each and every day between now and the year end.

In 100 days you could….

lose as much as 28 pounds (at a healthy 2 pounds a week)

read 7 books (at an average of two weeks per book)

declutter 3 rooms (taking on one room per month)

walk 150 miles (at a leisurely 1.5 miles per day)

Before you know it we will all be singing Auld Lang Syne and thinking about 2009. If you make some conscious choices every day between now and then, not only will time have passed, but you will have some success to show for it.

Starting October 1

you can join my free 30 day challenge.  It’s a great way for you to get started making something positive happen during the last 100 days of this year. More about my 30 day challenge in the next few days.

What could YOU do in 100 days?

When we get off track or tend to forget the things that are most important, the universe sends a little message. That happened last week when Dave Freeman passed away suddenly at the age of 47.

 Dave wrote the book 100 Things to Do Before You Die, one of the very first books in the bucket list genre.  In the book he commented that life is a short journey. Indeed it was for him as he only had enough time to visit about half of the travel sites recommended.

Have you written your list of must do things before you die?

Are you actively designing your life so you have the richest, fullest experience possible?

 Or are you simply waiting until “some day”?

So here’s my thought for today:

Give thanks to the universe for its reminders and then honor Dave Freeman by working on your own bucket list.

What’s one of your must do items for this life?

Ask Laurel… 

September will soon be here with back to school and lots of sports, clubs and activities. How do I avoid over-committing myself and my family?

There are so many wonderful activities to choose, it’s easy to jam your schedule to overflowing.  You probably want to give your children a rich smorgasbord of experiences. But just like a food buffet, if you don’t pick and choose, you just might end up making yourself sick. Over-extended schedules, even made with the best intentions, often result in fast food in the car, rushed conversations and frazzled nerves.

What’s your tolerance level? 

Each family has its own tolerance level for commitments. Some families are able to take on lots of things and still feel energized. Other families need fewer commitments in order to function smoothly. Think back to last year.

Did you feel overwhelmed?

Did it seem like you were always rushing from one activity to the next without time to breathe?

If the answer is yes, then being  pickier about the things you commit to is probably a good idea.

Consciously create an experience 

Consider the experience you want to create for your family when making choices. Participating in one activity, having more fun and feeling less stress far outweighs multiple commitments. And remember to leave some white space in your schedule to allow for all of those unexpected things that will most definitely pop up.

What life coaching question would you like to ask Laurel?

One of my longtime friends sent these questions to a group of us who have known each other since childhood. It’s amazing what you might not know about people that you have actually known for a long time. I thought it was also an interesting list of things to share when you are getting to know someone new.

Here are my answers….at least for today:

Three jobs I have had: grocery store cashier, criminal court clerk, special education teacher

Three places I have lived: Brampton, Kingston, Morinville

Three TV shows that I watch: House, Criminal Minds, Grey’s Anatomy

Three places I have been: India, Italy, Costa Rica

Three of my favourite foods: New York Cheesecake, salad nicoise, scallops

Three places I’d like to be right now: right where I am, Tuscany, Machu Picchu

Three things I am looking forward to this year: book launch for Spontaneous Combustion, my 50th birthday, Thanksgiving

I hope you’ll post a comment and share three things about you.

And feel free to add to the list - what other three things would be fun to know?

Having just spent a week in New York City I found that that there is no shortage of life lessons highlighted in the Big Apple.

Here are a few of my favourites.

In the midst of noise there is always a quiet center.

Central Park sits as a quiet refuge in the middle of a bustling city.  There you will find 843 acres of walking paths, lakes, ponds and wide open spaces. A place for peaceful relaxation amid the birds and trees. An abundance of green in a concrete city.

You also have a quiet refuge at your core - a place of calm and restoration that you can access anytime, even when everything is swirling around you. The trick is knowing how to tap into it - perhaps through meditation or music or a quiet walk. Once you’ve figured out how to get to your own private central park, it’ll always be waiting for you.

People are only as invisible as you want them to be.

There are two kinds of people I encountered in NYC - those who looked at you and those who didn’t. Tourists and locals alike could be divided into those two groups. Some people could see the homeless man in the park who was as content with a smile as he was with some loose change. Some people acknowledged the doorman or the cop on the beat or the guy handing out leaflets. And some people didn’t have the time.

It’s easy for us to let other people become invisible. When life is hectic and we are wrapped up in our own to do lists, we tend to put our heads down and barrel through the day. At the end of the day though, we’re all looking for a little human contact. Take the time to see the people around you, smile, open a door, say thank you.

Be grateful for the things you take for granted.

I had the extreme privilege of spending a little time with the firefighters of Ladder Company 3. What a great bunch of guys! Thanks especially to Mike and Chris for taking the time to share their NYC stories. Did you know that a firefighter’s basic equipment weighs 110 pounds? Imagine wearing that in the sweltering summer heat while you battle a fire!

There are lots of things that we simply don’t think about. We just assume that they will be there when we need them. Things like clean water from the tap, lights on when we flip the switch, and brave men and women who risk their lives because its part of the job. Consider what you have been taking for granted and say a little prayer of thanks.

You know what they say about NYC - if you can make it there, you can make it anywhere. It seems to me if you can get the life lessons there, they work anywhere.

What’s your favourite life lesson?